My best friend slept with my boyfriend

Dear Pastor,

I am a 25-year-old woman and I have a boyfriend. We have been friends for two and a half years. We get along well and I respect him. He has been trying to persuade me to have sex with him, but I told him no.

My boyfriend recently admitted that he had sex with one of my friends. I could not believe he did that to me. This is my best friend; no, I should say, was my best friend. I used to tell her all my secrets. She knew that my boyfriend and I were not having sex because I told her so, and she used to give me advice how I could satisfy him without having sex with him. She has a child, but the child's father and her broke up because he accused her of cheating. She told me that she did not admit that she cheated on him, but she really did.

This sexual encounter between by former friend and my boyfriend took place the same day I left the island for a short trip overseas. When I got to America and I called him to tell him that I had arrived, I was surprised to hear that he was at her house. I asked him what he was doing there, he said he was only there keeping her company. I told him to go home. Later, I called again but his phone was off and his phone is usually never off.

I called my girlfriend and when she answered, I asked for him and she did not answer, the phone went dead. I called his phone some time after and he answered. I asked her why he was still at her house; he said that he fell asleep.

The next morning I called him and I was very angry. I lied by telling him that my friend said that they made love. He asked if she really told me that and I said yes. He said he did not think she would tell me that. I told him our relationship is over.

Pastor, I can't believe that this girl would have tried to take away my boyfriend from me. I don't consider her a friend any more, and my boyfriend has been begging me to forgive him. I asked him why he did that to me and he said it was my friend who offered sex to him and he could not resist her, but he did not want me to know.

I don't want my friends to know what my boyfriend and my friend did. I still love my boyfriend, but I hate this girl and I cannot forgive her.

K

Dear K.,

This young man and your girlfriend had their eyes on each other for a long time. You used to talk to her in confidence, so she knew that you were not having sex with him. And, of course, you admitted that she told you what to do. So as soon as you flew out of Jamaica, both of them used the opportunity to go to bed. This so-called friend did not hesitate to go to bed with him; and you could imagine how much he complained to her that you were not giving him sex. She is a wicked girl. She could not be kept as a friend at all by you.

You are right to end the friendship with her. But you cannot keep her as a friend and you should seriously consider whether it makes sense to keep the friendship with this man, because if he would so quickly go to bed with this woman, he is likely to do so with another woman as soon as the opportunity arises. Make your own decision, but I think I have said enough.

Pastor.