Won’t marry me unless his mom can move in

Dear Pastor,

This is the first time I am writing to you. I'm in a relationship that is not going anywhere. I have three children, two with the man I'm living with.

My first child is living with his father and his wife. He is a very fortunate child.

His father got me pregnant because the condom he was using broke. I knew that he had another woman, that they planned to get married, and had set their wedding date. We went out for a date and we had sex and the condom broke. But he gave me money to take the morning-after pill and I spent the money and got pregnant. He was very upset.

He told his fiancee that he cheated on her and she forgave him. They got married and she asked me for the child. This man that I'm living with never keeps his word.

He has a good job, but he is reckless in every way. He doesn't save his money and he is a mama's boy. He tells her everything. He doesn't do anything without her.

He's always talking about his mother. She does not talk to me much because I told him he shouldn't discuss everything about us with her, so she is annoyed.

He said after we are married she should come and live with us, but I disagree because she will be too much in our love life. So he said if his mother can't live with us we shouldn't get married.

U.S.

Dear U.S.,

Sometimes it is convenient for a man and his wife and an in-law to live together. But it is well known that not many wives love it when their mother-in-law lives with them.

They claim that mothers-in-law try to tell their sons what to do, and some even tell their sons' wives what to cook. On the other hand, there are some wonderful mothers-in-law who get along well with their daughters-in-law. They assist them with the children and they treat them as their own daughters. But it's unfortunate that some sons put their mothers first.

It's also unfortunate that your man told you that unless his mother would be able to live with both of you, he will not get married to you. Both of you should see a family counsellor and discuss this matter.

Pastor