My girlfriend is tired of my cheating

Dear Pastor,

I knew this woman since 2012 when she was attending university. I tried getting into a relationship with her back then, but she avoided my advances because she wasn't interested in being a third party, even though she was single.

I went to prison and spent a few years there. My girlfriend moved on and this woman was still without a man when I got released, so I pursued her. We eventually got together.

Pastor, this woman has taken me into her home with a child. She has cared for us in more ways than you can imagine, but I kept cheating on her. She is smart and so she has always been able to see through my deceit at all times. I do not go home to her at times, even when she has made plans for us. Each time she finds out that I was cheating, we would talk about it and she would forgive me.

Things have now soured between us as she found out that I am hooking up with someone I have had an on-and-off relationship with before I met her. To be honest, this girl has me weak because she does things my woman at home won't do, even though she has a man in her life. This girl shows ownership of our relationship and has posted pictures of us online.

When I first met my woman, she used to be a sweetheart - she treated me like a king. I used to tell my friends about her. I used to wake up to breakfast, dinner, the works. Now, she has decided to end things with me. I told her it was because she doesn't dress up, or love me like before, why I have cheated on her.

When I try to show her affection, she brushes me off, saying she doesn't want any 'what left', because I can't be with someone last night and then come to her as if nothing happened. She says my cheating and constant disrespect has caused her to not want to have anything to do with me, and every time she thinks about me, the hurt, which she can't get past, takes over. Now she is adamant that I should leave her house. My child has grown to love her and wants to stay with her.

Honestly, Pastor, she takes very good care of my child, even the child's mother, who is overseas, looks up to her. She has, however, stopped giving her body to me and no longer washes or cooks for me, or helps me with my other children. She told me that I was cheating long before I met her so her withdrawal from me should not be surprising.

Pastor, my family loves her and my sisters say that I will not find another woman like her. When I met her, I owned a few pieces of clothes, now I have enough for a dozen men.

She wants to leave me and I can see it in her eyes because she no longer cries when she talks to me about her feelings. My family has encouraged her to leave me because of my dirty ways and the fact that I want to run around and sleep with different women.

D.

Dear D.,

If you are honest, you should admit that you used this woman and you intend to continue to use her. The tone of your letter is to show how irresponsible you are.

I am here to tell you that you do not deserve to have this woman and there is no good reason why she should allow you to touch her now that she has recognised that you are a not a good man. It took her a long while to become intimate with you. You feel that you have a right to her body and she should be partly blamed for your behaviour, you are a very silly man and she should do her best to kick you out of her life.

I repeat you do not deserve her.

She knows that she can do better and I hope that this woman will insist that you leave her alone.

You need to go and seek a job so that you can support your children and yourself.

You are not behaving as a good man. I hope that you take what I have said seriously and leave this good woman alone.

Pastor