Boyfriend giving me bun overseas

Dear Pastor,

I am 30 years old and I am having a problem. I have one daughter, but her father is living in the US. He has been there for two years and has only returned to Jamaica once.

It is very hard on me, not financially, because he sends money for us every month. We talk almost every day. I am unable to go to see him and, because of the type of work he does, he told me that it was not possible for him to come and spend a week with us, because that was what I had suggested to him.

I have been trying to be faithful to him, but I have found myself cheating these days. It is so hard to remain true to this man and I am getting older every day.

MISSED CALL

One day, he called but I did not answer because I had a male friend with me at the time. I called him back later that night and he asked why I did not answer his call. I pretended that I wasn't feeling well and had taken some tablets to see if I could feel better.

This man knows me so well that the next day he called and told me that he suspected that I had company when he had called. I did not confirm or deny that I had company.

I have asked him many times whether he had another woman in his life. He told me that he had a couple of girlfriends who were social friends and that he had gone to bed with a few of them, but they were nothing serious.

If he can go to bed with a couple of his 'social' friends, do you think that he should be angry if I cheat on him after not being with him for two years? Sometimes I don't know what to do.

I am tired of playing with myself. I look forward to hearing from you.

N.E.

Dear N.E. ,

I suppose that this is a case where one could join with the songwriter and say "Girls, you can't do what the guys do and still be lady". This man admitted to you that he has had relations with a couple of girls since he has been in the US. Of course, he doesn't expect you to do the same and go with another man, because, if you do, you wouldn't be a lady.

You admitted that you have tried to be faithful to this man but, after two years of not being with him, you feel that from time to time you need a man and he is not available.

I believe that you truly love your child's father, but you should tell him the truth. Tell him that the long-distance relationship is not working for you and it is obvious that it is not working for him, as he is having relations with other women. After you have told him that, he would have to make a decision whether to continue the relationship or not.

Pastor