Motel fees cutting into my allowance

Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you in the Mighty Name of Jesus our soon coming King. It is the first time I am writing to you. I would like you to help me find my child's father's relatives. He got me pregnant and I did not know where to find him. Then I was told that he got into an accident and died. I grew up with my grandparents and after my child's father died, I got involved with a married man. I could not help it because I had nobody to take care of my child and myself.

This married man took care of me. I tried to get him to send me back to school, but he said he was not going to send any young girl back to school because they are too ungrateful. But I am not ungrateful to him because he puts my pot on the fire every day and I have never cheated on him. His wife found out about us and one day she showed up at my grandfather's house and was making a scene. Same time, my boyfriend came by and ordered her to go home. I was so ashamed because my grandparents thought he was a single man. I had to lie and tell my grandparents that I did not know he was married. My grandmother believed me but my grandfather did not.

My grandfather said that if I want to live that kind of life this man can find somewhere and put me. He is really upset because he thought the guy was single and eventually we could get married. So for that reason, he used to allow the fellow to sleep with me at the house sometimes. That no longer happens and the guy can't take me to his house because his wife is there. He has to take me to a motel and he has to use part of the money to pay for that, so I don't get as much anymore.

W.

Dear W.,

One can call you a victim, but who are your child's father's relatives? You did not give their names. Could it be that you don't know their names? You got involved with a married man and you knew he was married. You did not hide it from your grandparents that he was your man but what you did not tell them is that he is married. This guy helped you the best he could and he won the heart of your grandparents because he was allowed to sleep with you sometimes at their home.

When his wife came by to see you, her husband came by shortly after and there was a confrontation. As some people would say, 'story come to bump'. It was revealed to your grandparents that the man was married. You felt ashamed and your grandparents were shocked. Now your grandparents will not allow him to sleep at their home any more. And this man has cut your allowance because he has to pay for the room both of you use whenever he takes you to the motel. But I do want to ask you a question; why do you have to rely on this man to put "your pot on the fire"? You know your grandmother would keep the baby for you. So why is it that you can't look for a job? You can seek a job even if it is to be a household helper and try and go back to school.

I am sorry to know about the death of your child's father. Perhaps you can do a Google or Facebook search, you might find out where to find them.

Pastor