Tempted to go to ‘Back Road’

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you about a problem that I have had for almost three or so years. I have been trying to get a girlfriend but all of them have turned me down.

I do not know what it is about me that turns off women and makes them not want to give me the time of day. I always smell good and wear clean clothes even though most of them do not look good on me since I cannot tell my parents what to buy.

Recently, I graduated from college and, fortunately, I have been blessed with a job. I am now able to dress well since I can now work my own money. Despite my efforts to find a girlfriend, it always ends up in a dead end. I may not have the perfect personality but I am definitely a guy that most persons in general can get along with. Due to this pandemic, it has made it even more difficult for me to find a girlfriend let alone have the prospects of marriage some day.

I have tried using dating apps but they are another dead end. Most users don't respond and a few just talk as if they are not interested. I won't say I am a Christian but I have tried my best to live a life that is in accordance with God since the day I was baptised, which was almost two years ago. I am now 23. I am on the verge of just giving up.

I want a wife but it does not seem that it will ever happen to me despite how hard I try. I might as well just settle for Port Henderson Road girls and whatever happens, happens.

Initials Withheld

Dear Writer,

Whenever I get letters from young men in your age group trying to find girlfriends, I am suspicious of them. I wonder if they are genuine.

Over the years, I have got so many of these letters and even a few weeks ago I received one. I answered it and it was published. Therefore, I was wondering if you were the same person.

However, as a counsellor, I have to accept each letter as true and genuine. So, no disrespect to you. I hope that you are a genuine seeker and whatever I say to you comes from my heart.

You are only 23. You don't have to be in a hurry to find a girlfriend. I know you wrote to me because you feel that you have a genuine need, but now that you are working and you are dressing well, girls are going to gravitate to you especially if you speak well and you learn how to conduct yourself and know how to treat women.

I know that some girls may try to contact me and ask for your name and contact, but you have not sent such information. But I wish you well.

I want to discourage you from getting involved with a prostitute. You said you are tempted to resort to that place that is commonly known as 'Back Road'.

If you were to go there, the girls would take care of your sexual needs but you may expose yourself to STIs. Also, you might have to spend much more than if you wait on the Good Lord to provide a lovely woman for you.

I suggest that you pray and put this matter in God's hands and He will provide for you.

Pastor