Can’t keep up with my younger wife

November 24, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am 54 years old and I am very active in my church. I was married, but my wife and I separated. We finally decided to seek a divorce. Arguing about women caused our divorce.

My wife was overly jealous. No woman could call me on the phone and, even in church, I had to keep away from the young women who were just friendly. She would tell all of them that I was her husband, so if they were looking husbands they should look elsewhere.

One day, she interfered with a particular young woman in the church yard. The young woman, in turn, gave her a good cursing. She started to cry and went straight to the pastor and told him what transpired. I decided that that was enough. I had to get rid of my wife. After meeting with the pastor for several weekends and making no progress, we decided to separate, and the separation led to a divorce.

During our separation, the same young woman and I communicated and we grew closer together until we fell in love. We are now married, but she is much younger than I am.

She has just turned 30 and I have tried to keep up with her but I am unable to do so. She wants to have sex every night. Sometimes I wonder if I made a mistake in marrying this woman, and I feel so embarrassed when she tells me that I am no good and that I am too old for her.

Can you imagine a man's wife telling him that he is no good? Sometimes when I ejaculate, the woman hisses her teeth and asks me if things can really go on like that.

I wonder if my wife will cheat on me. My ex-wife and I did not have a problem when it came to sex. Maybe that was because of our age, but this younger girl doesn't have any mercy.


Dear V.J.,

Some people, after reading your letter, would say that you have taken up what you can't manage. It is unfortunate that your first wife was so jealous and she believed that every woman you talked to, even in the church, was trying to have a relationship with you. You say she was jealous.

I'll go further to say that she did not have any sense at all. You know you are not guilty of that. Now, this young woman who cursed your wife eventually won your love, but it seems to me that you're not strong enough to control her in the bedroom. She wants to make love to you every night and your weak body can't keep up to it.

You have to understand that lovemaking is not just sex. There are so many things a man can do with his woman before the actual act. But I am not saying that after you would be able to satisfy this woman even after doing all those things.

Perhaps both of you can consider seeing a sex therapist who can suggest what you both can do to make your sex life more enjoyable. Perhaps your ex-wife never trusted you. On the other hand, there are some women like that. They do not like women talking to their husbands too often. They always feel that the men would become involved with them.

Your ex-wife was always threatened. Some people will say that maybe she was trying to protect you, but if that was her objective, she surely failed. She might say, now that you married this younger woman, that she was right after all. This woman loved you and wanted you for herself.

I don't know what the truth is here, but I do know that this young wife that you have wants more than you can give to her. She seems to need a sex toy that would help to satisfy her, because clearly you are unable to do so. Mark you, there are many who would write and condemn me for saying that she needs this toy, but it doesn't matter to me.

I wish you well.


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