It was too easy to sleep with her

Dear Pastor,

I am 28 years old. I was married, but lost my wife in an accident two years ago. She was so beautiful and smart. She was also attractive and my mother always told me that I was lucky to have her, but she died.

I met another woman and we have been talking for six months. She has her own house. She does not have children. She invited me for dinner, which I really enjoyed. As the evening got older, I decided that I should leave. She asked me why I was going home so early. I asked her if she would love for me to stay a little longer and she said yes.

Instead of the television, she turned on some old-hits music. She is a good dancer. We danced for quite a while, then I realised that she wanted more out of me. She planned the evening much more than I had thought. She had the champagne chilled, so we had champagne and we danced some more. I told her that she should remember that I had to drive, so I could not drink anymore.

To cut a long story short, Pastor, she took me into her bedroom and took off my clothes and started to have sex with me. Remember, this was my first date with this woman. Although we used to talk often on the phone, no sex was involved. That evening this lady wanted sex, so we had sex and then I left. By the time I reached home, she called me and asked if I was alright. I told her yes. She said that we would do it again the following weekend. But it was unprotected sex because I was not planning to have sex.

I wondered, when I left, what got into this woman. It was our first date and yet she wanted me inside of her. Do you think this is a good woman? Does she do that to every man she invites to her house? She seemed easy to get. I like her, but I thought it would have been more difficult to get her to go to bed with me. What do you feel about such a woman?

J.

Dear J.,

You should be fair to this woman. This woman knew that you had lost your wife in a tragic accident and you were alone. For six months, both of you have been talking on the phone. She didn't consider you a stranger anymore, so she planned a nice evening for you at her house. She cooked. She did everything. Then she introduced sex to you.

You did not have to agree to have sex with her. You could have told her it was too soon. But you allowed her to take off your clothes and to do whatever else after with you. Both of you had sex, and you have the gall to ask me if this is a good woman.

What you are saying is that this woman is cheap. And that she might have given herself away to other men cheaply. She looked at you as someone she has known for a long time and perhaps thought that you needed a little love after losing your wife for about two years. Do not misunderstand me. I am not saying that she was right, but I think it is wrong for you to see her as a cheap woman. You could have told her you were not ready for that.

Pastor