Husband saw my aunt’s private parts

Dear Pastor,

I have an embarrassing situation that I would like to talk about. I am in my early 20s and I am married. My husband is 10 years older than I am and we live in a beautiful apartment.

My aunt lives abroad. Just about a year ago she came to Jamaica and was visiting us. My aunt and I are about the same age. We lived together when we were younger and it was not unusual for both of us to be together in the house without clothes.

My husband had gone to work and we were in our room. My aunt asked me to shave her. I was in the process of doing so when my husband came back for something that he had left.

He opened our door and saw my aunt spread out with her legs wide open. He quickly closed the door and never said a word. My aunt felt very embarrassed, but I was more embarrassed.

I quarrelled with my husband but he said that he is not to be blamed. He did not knock on our door. He did not expect her to be in our room. But I told him that he should have knocked in any case, but he said he can't see why. He said what my aunt has is what I have as a female, so why am I making a big issue of it?

He tried to apologise to her a number of times, but she said she will never accept his apology and she will not come back to his house. My husband and I have apologised to my aunt. She insists that he should have knocked on the door. He said that he has a right to come into his house and into his room without knocking. How do you see this matter?

T.L.

Dear T.L.

It is always a good habit to knock on a bedroom door and to listen to the response before pushing the door. However, your husband did not expect your aunt to be in that room with you. That is the room that both of you share. Even if you were in the nude in the room and your husband opened the door and saw you, you would not have been embarrassed, and neither would he. But to see your aunt in the nude in the room with you was shocking.

You said that you and your aunt have grown up like sisters and you were often without clothes. I understand that. But if your aunt needed to have a shave, why did she need your help to do so? And if she needed help, why didn't you go over to her room and assist her? I suppose you did not think your husband would be home so soon, but neither did he expect her to be in his room and for you to be shaving her.

I can see why your aunt is embarrassed. She left earlier than she had planned. She can either accept your husband's apology and put the incident behind her or hold that against him. But you must make sure that you stop blaming him for something that he did not purposely do.

Pastor