Tired of living with my boyfriend’s parents

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. I have been reading it since I was in my early teens. And now that I am in my 20s I continue to read it. I am in love with a man who has two children.

He helps me financially. When I didn't have money to go to school, he saw to it that I had lunch money. He even helped me to buy my uniform because my parents are very poor.

My mother sells on the street and there were times when things are not bright at all. My father does his little farming. We don't even have a good place to live but we are not beggars.

I told my parents that my boyfriend has two children. My father told me to make sure that he doesn't get me pregnant. But my mother became friendly with my father although he had three children.

My boyfriend introduced me to his folks. The first day I went to their house, his mother was cooking. She invited me to the kitchen and asked if I could cook and I told her not much.

She was cooking ackee and salt fish. She told me ackee and salt fish was not hard to cook and my boyfriend likes it. She wouldn't even give me time to talk. She chatted and chatted but I got to like her. His father didn't say much. I could see why my boyfriend has a big tummy. When she gave me dinner, it was so much and I couldn't eat all of it. But my boyfriend forced me to eat all of it. He said she would believe that I didn't eat it because I didn't like her cooking.

Pastor, I am now pregnant and it is something I was trying to avoid. His mother tells me that she hopes I am carrying a girl but my boyfriend wants a boy. Since I have been pregnant, I spend most of the time at his house because my parent's home is not convenient. Our room is next to his parents' room and I wonder sometimes if they hear us when we are having sex. It is a board house and even the bed we sleep on is squeaky.

I told him we should rent an apartment but he said the time will come. I am working now so I can help to pay the rent. Most of our arguments these days are over my insistence that he should leave his parents' house and we should rent a place of our own. Do you think I am wrong to insist that we rent a place on our home? I want to cooperate with him and please him.

D.L.

Dear D.L.,

I understand all that you are going through, and now that you have become pregnant, it is prudent that he should rent a little apartment so that both of you can live. I know that by staying in his parents' house he would be saving money. But what an embarrassment it must be to have his parents next door hearing their son having sex with you. That must be really embarrassing, but perhaps he doesn't care. But he should think about you.

Pastor