I have the mother-in-law from hell

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 and I am having a very difficult time. I am staying with my mother-in-law. I have a six-month-old baby. The father is off the island. My mother-in-law behaves as if she wants to control me and she watches me like a hawk.

My child's father was in the island a few months ago and she told him all kinds of crazy things about me. She even suggested that since I had the baby, I have got involved with a man.

To make matters worse, I did not feel like I could have sex freely with my child's father. I am not ready to have sex, although I have tried to please my boyfriend a few times. My boyfriend wanted sex every night and when I told him that I did not feel for it, he told me that he understood that I didn't feel for it from him because I have been getting it from someone else.

I am not having sex with anybody, and now that my boyfriend has been repeating those sentiments, I am totally turned off. Furthermore, I know that my boyfriend wants to get me pregnant again, but I do not want another child. I want to go back to school. He says that he doesn't have any money. He told his mother that I want to go to school.

She is always singing and 'throwing words'. She told him that I didn't want to go to school, I only wanted to 'look man', and that is why she will not keep the baby. My boyfriend seems to believe that.

I will not allow him to keep me down and if I want a man, it is not difficult for me to have one, but that is not in my mind. I am an ambitious, young woman and I want to earn my own money. If I leave this place, my boyfriend is going to tell everybody that it's because I have a man somewhere.

I used to think that we could get married. Now I have changed my mind because he is listening to his mother, who is packing up his head with foolishness. I don't even go anywhere, especially in these days when COVID-19 is around, I am always at home. We used to cook one pot, but I have cut that out because I am my own woman and I don't like to eat what she wants to eat all the time.

P.S.

Dear P.S.,

I suggest that you try and find another place to live. Tell your child's father that you are not prepared to live in the same house with his mother, because you are a grown woman and you want to turn your own key. It is unfortunate that this woman is lying on you. What your boyfriend needs to understand is that it is not unusually for some women to take a long time to resume lovemaking. Some people might think that six months is more than enough time, but it is not like that for everybody. Some women gladly resume sexual activity after six weeks, some longer, and it takes months for others. Loving and kissing and playing with their partners are just as satisfying to some women as the actual sexual intercourse. However, some men can't deal with that. But that does not mean that the women are cheating.

Your boyfriend's mother is totally out of order to suggest to her son that you are seeing another man. That is so very unkind. I think what she is trying to do is to encourage her son to end the relationship with you. Whatever your boyfriend decides to do, don't fight him over it, but make sure that you go back to school and get yourself a career.

Pastor