Don’t like my father’s young girlfriend

Dear Pastor,

I am 17 years old and I am living with my father and a young girl he has taken up as his woman. She is 25. My father told me that he needed a girlfriend, so I asked him why he had to take one who was such a young age. He said that she was the one who showed interest in him, and he found that he couldn't resist her.

My father is a man of means and this is what the girl sees, in my opinion. I reasoned with my dad and I told him that she is not far from my age. He said that I would not have much to do with her. She is at the house every day. Sometimes when I am leaving for school, this girl is still in my father's room sleeping; and when I call the helper about noon, she is still there. My father is a businessman, and the helper told me that whenever she is around, he checks in on her during the day.

When my mother and father were together and he left home for work, he did not return until late at nights. This woman chats a lot, she tells the helper that she knows that I don't like her, but I cannot separate her from my father. My father cannot see that this girl is not the kind of woman he should have as a big, responsible man. My father is 60. I am on one of his bank accounts, so I have been watching his account to see if he has withdrawn any money. But anytime I say anything negative, he tells me to leave this girl alone because she is not troubling me.

I would have preferred if my father got involved with the helper, because at least she is in her 50s.

J.D.

Dear J.D.,

Nothing you say to your father would make him leave this girl. Some people would think that he has knocked his head and wonder what he is doing with a 25-year-old woman who is not working. On the other hand, you have lived happily with your father and anything you say now, your father would interpret your reaction as jealousy.

So you have to play it cool and continue to be very respectful to your father. You have already told him that you do not like the relationship he is having with this young woman; you can't do anything more. To be disrespectful to your father is to be unwise. You can learn a whole lot about your father and this young woman from your helper. But even when you are talking to the helper, you should be extremely careful what you say to her, because you cannot be sure that she will not repeat some of the things to the young woman, and she in turn may tell him.

It is not going to be easy for this girl to leave your father, especially if he is giving her a lot of money. You know what your father has in his account, you should watch the money.

I am sure he will take care of his girlfriend. She is not going to give him everything for free, if you know what I mean. So all I can say to you is to take care of your dad; watch what you say. But don't fight your dad over this girl. One of these days I expect her to walk away from him.

Pastor