Our children love to sleep in our bed

Dear Pastor,

My husband and I have been married for 10 years. We have given up on trying to have children. We have gone to some of the best doctors and nothing has happened for us in that area. We have adopted two children, a boy and a girl, and we are a very happy family. We are not going back to the doctors. We do not discuss this matter anymore with friends or with people in or out of church. It used to bother me when I saw siblings with children, but it does not bother me anymore because we have our own children and we love them dearly. We have told them the truth. We are saving to help them get a good education. We have tried to create a good atmosphere for our children. We take them to church. Both are attending private schools.

We teach them to pray and to have private devotions. Some people say they resemble us, and we don't say anything about that. Sometimes when it is cold, all four of us sleep together in one bed. What do you think about that? It is not a nightly thing but the children always want to sleep with us and it is a matter of all of us agreeing to allow them.

D.J.,

Dear D.J,

I remember someone writing a book some years ago entitled, The family bed, and that family was advocating that they all sleep together. That book was rejected by many because the author seemed that she was imposing her culture on other children who often enjoy sleeping with parents. But for any good reason that is not something they should encourage all the time.

I don't have to spell out what those reasons are here. But I do not see anything wrong if occasionally the parents and children wrap up in bed.

I am glad that you are happy with your adopted children. You seem as if you are well prepared to have a happy home. Your children would grow up and consider themselves very fortunate. Provide the best education for them but at the same time, teach them to be responsible children and not to totally depend on you.

Pastor