Want to introduce my kids to their ‘stepmom’

Dear Pastor,

I am a 35-year-old male and I have two children from a previous relationship. Their mother and I have separated, and I have custody of these two children, and I love them dearly.

For that reason, I do not have women in and out of my house. I do not want my children to see me living a careless life, but I am now involved in a serious relationship. I have a girlfriend who has been visiting me. She and I are in the same age group. However I don't even know how to introduce her to my children, but I want to do so. What help can you give me?

My daughter is very smart and likes to ask a lot of questions. One of the questions she is going to ask is, 'are you all going to get married?' I have that in mind, but I am not ready for that. So, over to you Pastor; you are the counsellor.

P.K.

Dear P.K.,

You should try and let your children get to know your girlfriend. She should not come to visit you and stay in her car. The children should know her so well that they look forward to welcoming her. However, they should learn not to question her about her life and her background. It is not their place to do so. You should truthfully tell them about her. They are not to see both of you playing in bed, and there should be no surprises. She should visit and then go home.

Pastor