This man refuses to spend money on me

Dear Pastor,

I became involved with a man who told me that he did not have any woman in his life. I asked him how come and he said he was unfortunate.

I found out that he had six children. He could not explain how he had six children but never had a woman. He said women just 'gave me them because I love children'.

I asked him why he never did a DNA test to find out whether they are his and he said that he loved the children, so he took care of them. He said that he would love to get more children and if we became friends, I would have to give him two more. I told him he was talking to the wrong woman because I had two children already and I didn't want anymore.

He called me on my cell phone, and I talked to him briefly and he wanted to meet at Devon House; I said no. He admitted that he was seeing another girl but if I agreed for us to become friends, he would leave her. I told him not to do that and not to call me back. One day, he called again and told me that he had left the woman and was serious about a relationship with me.

My children are in their teens, so I told him that I did not want any man to be coming around where I live to molest my daughter. He said that he was not that type of man. This man does messenger work and he said he makes enough money to support a woman. I gave this man a chance in my life. The only good thing I know about him is that he can cook. But he wants to take me as his maid. He brings his work clothes for me to wash. He has never offered me a penny.

One day, I told him that I needed some money to apply for my visa and he promised to give me the money, but he never did. He said the bank lines are too long for him to change his cheque. Another time he gave me another story. I told him I was not a fool and I was not prepared to be with a man who did not give his woman money.

One day, I told him to buy some stew to make soup; he said yes, but he asked me for the money. I told him that if I had to give him money to buy the stew, he ought not to come back because he was getting the benefits from the stew. He said I had to remember that I had children and he was not their father. I could not believe that this was the man who told me that he had fallen in love with me and wanted us to be together. I went to the market myself and purchased my stew. I cooked, fed my children and ate, but I did not offer him any. He asked if I did not leave any food for him. I told him my money was too small to support him. He said that I should not be so mean with food. Until now, he has not given me the money to deal with my visa. What should I do with this man?

K.P.

Dear K.P.,

From the time you have been with this man you should have known that he was a liar. Any man who blames women for his failure cannot be a good man.

He said these women just gave him these children. You listened to that nonsense and evidently accepted what he said and became his lover. I feel shame on you. He has nothing to offer and the real test came when you asked him for money to apply for a visa. He kept promising but he has never fulfilled his promise. When he refused to buy meat at the market for you by demanding the money from you to purchase it, you should have told him not to come back to your place and blocked his number.

You should not want such a man around you at all. Run the man, run him. He said that you are mean, but you are not mean; you are smart. He wants to get what he can get from you, but he is not willing to give anything. Get him out of your life now.

Pastor