My girlfriend gave me two ‘jackets’

Dear Pastor,

I am 31 years old and I am feeling very depressed. I spent some time in the United States of America, but I came back earlier than I planned.

I used to live with a woman, and we have two children. I left her to run a little business that I started here. My brother gives oversight in the business, but I used to hear that my girlfriend had another man. I asked my brother about it and he said he did not know about it. But Pastor, I found out from a message that she had in her phone that these children I thought were mine, are not mine at all. They belong to another man and I feel depressed. My brother has to talking to me so that I do not get myself in trouble over this thing. She asked me to give her six months to find a place to live in. Pastor, I am of light complexion and these children are dark-skinned, but my mother was dark-skinned, so I did not think anything at first when these children were younger. But as they have been getting older, I realise that they don't have anything for me at all and people are laughing at me. Imagine a woman eating the fruits of your labour and laying down with a man and throwing children on you that are not yours.

My mother never liked her. My mother was the first person to tell me that she was giving me 'bun', but I did not believe her because I knew that my mother did not like her. I don't like to see the children any more, so for that reason I don't go home that much. I love women, but I hate this cheater. I am with another woman now, but I don't know if I can trust her. I may never trust again.

G.R.

Dear G.R.,

When trust is broken it is not very easy to regain, so I am not surprised to hear you say that you will not trust again. It may take years, but I believe that you may trust again.

It would be wrong for you to not trust another woman because of what this woman has done to you. This woman whom you believe has lied to you about the paternity of her children, will also have to answer to her children about why she lied and gave them to the wrong father.

You say that you don't like the children any more. I beg you to change your attitude towards them because they have not done you wrong. When women have given men 'jackets', it is a great embarrassment to the men. But the women have to live with the shame of being promiscuous. My friend, be careful with whom you establish relationships. And please don't allow what this woman did to you to cause you to hate other women.

Pastor