She wants me in Canada, I prefer the US

Dear Pastor,

I have been having a relationship with a woman for five years. It is a long-distance relationship. We became friends just before she went to live in Canada. If I had met her a couple of years before she went to Canada, I probably would have married her. It took her a long time to settle down in Canada, but she likes it over there. I visited Canada twice and the place is very clean, but I do not want to live there. I want to live in the United States because some of my relatives are there. At the same time, I have a fairly good position in Jamaica.

My girlfriend told me that I should hurry up and make up my mind because she cannot wait forever. She admitted that she had sex with a white guy. When I asked her why she cheated, she said it was because we were not even engaged so she did not see that as cheating. We got engaged on my last visit to Canada and she promised that she will be faithful because we are not just boyfriend and girlfriend anymore. I told her that I have gone out with other girls, but I have been faithful to her all the way. That is a lie. I have gone to bed with at least four different girls since she left Jamaica, but I don't want her to use that against me and that's why I have not told her the truth.

My relatives are telling me that I should not go further in the relationship because it may cause a problem if I want to live in the US. This girl is very nice. I was owing fees at UTech Ja and she sent me the money to pay up the fees and I did not have to ask her. So, you see, she is a good woman.

I have to think of a lot of things if I should live in the US. I would have to go to my relatives who are up there and stay with them for a while and I don't like that. But If I go to Canada, I would go straight to this woman's house and I would have more freedom there. Canada is not really where I want to be. Help me to make a decision, Pastor.

E.

Dear E.,

If you love this woman who is living in Canada, that is where you should go. I know your relatives mean you well. But, in this matter, you should think about your future and you should not be thinking about starting over. If after you marry the woman and have been living in Canada, the both of you might think about going to America to live. That decision should be made by both of you. But, right now, I think you should be thinking about going to Canada to live. Discuss what I have said to you with your fiancee and see how she feels about it.

By the way, when your girlfriend admitted that she slept with a white man, you should have admitted that you had a fling with other women. I wish both of you well.

Pastor