Dad disappointed that I’m pregnant again

Dear Pastor,

I am 29 and I am now pregnant with my second child. I am living with my boyfriend. I have disappointed my parents. I used to be daddy's girl but since I got pregnant the second time, my father only talks to me if he has to. My first child is a girl and my father loves her and one day he was playing with her and he told her, "I hope you will not disappoint me as your mother".

I was very upset so I said, "daddy you should not say that to her" and he said, "look how much money I spent and send you to a good school and all you have brought home to me is two stomach". My boyfriend works in a bank and he is five years older than I am. He went to university but I have not. I was hoping to go back to school but then I got pregnant again.

What is bothering me now is that my boyfriend is always complaining about how difficult it is for him alone to meet all the bills. I asked my father if I could come home and he told me that I could come after I have the baby. My room is still available. When I told my boyfriend that I will go back home he told me he was not telling me to leave, he just wished he could get some help. I just want to say to girls that they must protect themselves because my boyfriend is now complaining. Even before I got pregnant with the first child, he did not want to use the condom and we started to practise the withdrawal method. But I got pregnant again. I have an older sister and brother. My brother assists me with anything I want, all I have to do is ask him and he will give it to me. But my sister does not help me at all. She always has something negative to say. Her man is a medical doctor, she is living with him, and she said that they are not ready for children, so she asked why I allowed this man to get me pregnant. My father always mentions her. I could have destroyed my pregnancy but I prefer to have my children. I am sorry I left home and went to live with my boyfriend and sometimes I think that I should leave my boyfriend and go home. I think he might bring another girl and take my place because he is not going to live alone. What do you suggest I do?

F.P.

Dear F.P.,

Although your father is very upset with you because you have allowed yourself to get pregnant for the second time, he is quite willing to take you back after you have given birth to your second child. It is natural that he will make certain remarks that will upset you occasionally, but you are his daughter and he does not want you to suffer. Your boyfriend is complaining that he is under financial pressure and he has to pay all the bills. So go home soon after you have given birth, at least your mother will help you. I hope you have learned your lesson. Don't ever believe a man that he will pull out or that he won't discharge in you when he is having sex with you or when he wants to have sex with you. Your sister does not have any obligation to support you or to assist you, so don't be upset with her. As soon as it is possible to go back to school I suggest you do so. I don't know what you plan to do, but this is something you have to talk to your boyfriend about. Please go back to school. If you go back home to live with your parents and your boyfriend does not support his children, please consider carrying him to court. But discuss it with your parents first.

Pastor