Boyfriend’s ex won’t leave him alone

Dear Pastor,

I am writing you for your advice. I am 23 and I have a boyfriend who is 39. He treats me very well. I don't have any complaints about that, but he has another girlfriend and he didn't tell me about her. This girl called me one evening and told me to leave her man alone, and I asked 'which man?' and she mentioned his name and hung up. Later in the day I asked him who she was. I told him what the girl said and he said he dropped her a long time ago and I shouldn't take her on because she is only trying to break us up. He said he would call her.

A week after, she called me again and told me that my boyfriend came to see her and he was lying to me. My boyfriend told me to block her but I am wondering whether the girl is speaking the truth. At the same time, if she is speaking the truth, what time does he have to spend with her, because he is always with me. I asked him to show me a picture of her and looking at her, she doesn't have anything over me.

She has two children and he is not their father. I asked him if he has stopped giving this girl money and he said that is part of the problem because he used to help her with her children. Their father is in prison. We are living in a gated community and one evening this girl showed up and told the guard that my boyfriend was expecting her. The guard called me and I told him not to let her in because my boyfriend was not at home. She told the guard lies about me and how I am having men with my boyfriend. She even told the guard that when she is finished with me, my boyfriend must leave me.

My boyfriend told me he can deal with her, I should just give him time. He said she just needs a good thrashing and it is just a matter of time. I don't want him to get himself into trouble but at the same time I don't want to lose him as my man. I had other guys before him and none of them treated me as well as he does. All these other guys wanted from me was my body. My boyfriend has never hit me but from what he says, he has beaten up other women. He said women who don't hear will feel. I am telling him to keep away from her and not get himself in trouble. What do you suggest that he should do, or what I should do?

Y.

Dear Y.,

This woman who contacted you is not willing to give up your boyfriend without a fight. Evidently, he treated her very well. She doesn't want him to walk away from her. He knows why he ended the relationship with her but she is blaming you and that is why she called you and told you to leave her man alone. Your boyfriend does not have to get himself into trouble by beating her up. What he probably should do is to take out a restraining order on her so that she would not come to his house or anywhere he is.

This girl has no class. She shouldn't have complained to the guard about the gentleman and she shouldn't have told lies about you. She wanted the guard to believe that you are trash. I wonder how this girl got your number and was able to call you the first time and tell you to leave her man alone. Please do not take any chances with this woman. Be on your guard at all times because she will hurt you if she gets a chance to do so. Do not ignore what I have said. You and your boyfriend should take out a restraining order on this woman. She is not crazy; she knows what she is doing.

Pastor