Best friend of my dead lover is trying to sleep with me Best friend of my dead lover is trying to sleep with me Best friend of my

Dear Pastor,

My boyfriend died in a terrible accident three and a half years ago, and I have been celibate from since. I am in my 30s and I have three children for him. Since he died, I plunged myself into work and in assisting my children with their schoolwork. I am a school teacher. I have not given any man a chance in my life although I have had many proposals.

I have two boys and one girl, and the relatives of my children's father are very supportive. I have not even looked at any of these men who have tried to bed me. One of these men was my children's father best friend. He has offered me lots of financial help, but I don't need his help and I turned him down, mainly because he is living with a woman.

One day, I asked him what he really wants from me and he said he wants to make me happy. I told him I am very happy and he said I will be happier going to bed with him. My conscience will bother me knowing that it was my children's father best friend, and I know the woman he is living with, I know her very well.

Sometimes I feel like telling him that he should stop coming to see me, but I don't want him to believe that I am ungrateful to him, because he has helped me a lot since my man passed on. Sometimes when he is at the house and it is getting late, and when it is getting dark, I remind him it is time for him to go home. I am not interested in having a man in my life. I know how to help myself if my desire for sex is overwhelming, but I want you to tell me how to deal with this man.

T

Dear T,

I am glad to hear that you are doing well. You have lost your children's father tragically but you have had good moral support from friends and relatives and you are getting along very well.

Some men will never take 'no' for an answer, and this friend of your children's father is behaving as if he has the right to be intimate with you. It is time for you to tell him not to come back to visit you, because you are not interested in him. You will never be comfortable going to bed with him. I don't need to say anything else to you, except to say be careful with the way you live because you have to set good examples for your children.

Pastor