My nephew’s girlfriend is young and unambitious

Dear Pastor,

I am 73 years old. I have been reading your column for many years, and I still enjoy doing so. You make me laugh so many times. I lost my husband five years ago. We use to read your column together. I miss my husband.

We have three children who are overseas. One of my nephews, who is a soldier, stays here with me. He has a girlfriend and he asked me if she can come here and stay. I told him yes, but she should only be here when he is here. I don't want his girlfriend to stay here because I don't want her to bring a lot of people in my house. She is upset with me because I don't want her to live here.

Pastor, she is only 19 years old, so she should be attending school. Whenever my nephew is here, she stays in his room all day and he has to cook for her or go out and buy fast food. I told my nephew that he should encourage her to go to school and he said that he has tried, but she doesn't have any ambition.

My nephew is 30 years old. What is he doing with an unambitious girl who is 19 years old? She has never been rude to me. I don't talk much to her, I just say hello to her, and she says hello to me. She is a nice looking girl, but my children told me not to allow her to live here with me and I have to listen to them because they are taking care of me.

Pastor, keep up your good work. I hope to hear from you.

B.S

Dear B.S,

I regret hearing your husband has passed on, but you seem to be doing very well. I am happy to hear that your children, who are living abroad, are supporting you. Thank you so very much for reading my column. I am glad you enjoy doing so.

Concerning your nephew, I am sure that you are happy to have him stay at your house. I am sure he understands why you do not want his girlfriend to live there, and I believe that your nephew should do exactly what you have said. He should encourage her to go back to school. He said that she doesn't have any ambition. If she does not have any ambition then he should not have her as his girlfriend. If a man has a girlfriend, he should look forward to the day when he will marry her, and if he is not planning to marry her, he is simply using her to satisfy his sexual needs.

In any case, don't allow what is happening between him and his girlfriend to affect you. You have already given him permission to bring her to your house whenever he is there. Don't change that.

Pastor