My fire has gone out

July 30, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I am suffering from high blood pressure and my wife and I have discussed it. I can see how frustrated she is because she is much younger than me.

When we first met, we did not have a problem. I was on fire but now my fire has gone out. My doctor told me I should not fret. He has been working with me. My wife is not only much younger, but she is very beautiful and she has many male friends, and her job takes her many places.

I do not have any problem apart from that caused by my high blood pressure. My wife takes care of the house although she has a full-time job, which is very demanding. Whenever I feel for sex, she does everything to help me but I have not been able to satisfy her as I would love to. Do you have any advice you can give to me?

Initial Withheld

Dear Initial Withheld,

There is no question about it. High blood pressure can affect a man's ability to have strong erection, but your doctor can assist you by making suggestions about what you and your wife can do to make your sexual life enjoyable. I know what I am about to say might not be of much comfort to you, but I will say it nevertheless. You are indeed concerned about your sexual dysfunction but I believe that you are greatly troubled by the fact that you see your wife associating with younger men, and you feel that because she is beautiful and you are not able to satisfy her sexually, she may seek satisfaction from them. Perhaps your wife is faithful to you but you find it difficult to believe. It is wrong for you to accuse her of unfaithfulness, so please do not give her the impression that you don't trust her, and please always remember that sex is not the only thing that can cause a good marriage to survive and be successful.


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