Wife refuses to do ‘doggy style’

Dear Pastor,

I am 31 years old. I am married and my wife is pregnant with our first child. She has become very miserable when it comes to sex.

I spoke to her mother about it because her mother and I have a very good relationship. She acts as our counsellor sometimes. My wife does not like certain sexual positions. She is very fussy. My wife and I practise the missionary position. That is what she enjoys. Now that she is six months pregnant that is not very comfortable, but every position I suggest, she says that she does not like it. I think my wife is turned off from sex for the time being. Her gynaecologist suggested that we could consider that I penetrate her from the back. Whatever I tell her we should do, she always complains and always says we are Christians, not animals. I am trying to cooperate with my wife but she is not cooperating. This is the only problem I have with her.

E.M.

Dear E.M.,

It seems to me that you and your wife have had a wonderful relationship, but since she has become pregnant she is very cranky. You mentioned in your letter that she is miserable. You know that she was not like that before getting pregnant so you should do your very best in exercising much patience. Trying to penetrate your wife from the back is called the 'doggy style', and perhaps that is the reason why she said you guys are not animals. So she doesn't want both of you to make love that way. Whenever you are trying something and she doesn't like it, stop immediately. Don't try to fight her. It will only make things worse. I know why you write to me and it's because you are frustrated. So I suggest that you ask her what position she considers comfortable to her. Don't demand anything even when you feel horny.

Pastor