Old boyfriend doesn’t know I have another man

Dear Pastor,

I am a 23-year-old woman and I have two boyfriends. One is 25 and the other is 55. My younger boyfriend knows about the older man but the older man doesn't know about him.

The young guy and I have been friends for two years. He has two children with his ex-girlfriend and he has to support them. He is only a security officer so when I met this older man and he told me he loved me, I lied that I was single. I told the young guy about him and he suggested that I should take him on and ease the pressure off of him. This older man has grown children but he lives alone. His sister goes to his house often and makes sure that he is all right. If this man doesn't see me for a few days he behaves as if he is going crazy. So I go there practically every day. Sometimes he cooks and leaves food for me. He does not always want to have sex with me. He has never given me less than $15,000 a week. My other boyfriend can't afford that. Sometimes I have to give him $5,000 to help him along. He asked me if I told my mother about him and I told him no because my mother would not support me in this type of relationship. She wants me to get married. I would like to get married but I can't marry the security officer. He cannot support my lifestyle. I like nice shoes and pants and I change my hairstyle regularly. I don't stay at his house for more than two days because I don't want to get into any confrontation with his babymother. I am too young for that. This older man is an American citizen. I told him that I want to go to America. I don't know how that would work because my security friend doesn't want me to go abroad but I have to secure my future. Whenever he tells me to come to his house, I always go because I don't want him to know that I am giving him bun. I know you will say that I am a bad girl but he cannot satisfy me. All he does his feel me up. I need more than that. Please tell me what to do.

A.S.

Dear A.S.,

If this older man were your father, would you want a young girl to be using him and fooling him and getting his money and giving him the impression that she loved him?

I am sure that you would be very angry. What you don't want for yourself, you shouldn't do to this older man. He thinks that you love him so much that he cooks for you and is prepared to see you every week. Some people would say that he is very silly. I think that he is not using his common sense. If you are so flashy as you indicated, I think this older man should know that you are too hot for him and that you are a gold digger. On the other hand, you are also with this security guard. You should try and tell him to do his best to support his children. It is wrong for you to be taking this older man's money and giving it to him. You are a 'ginal' and it is just a matter of time before you crash. The security guard is not a good man. He should not be encouraging you to be fooling this man and taking his money. You say you want to go to America. I hope this old man is not foolish enough to marry you so that he would be able to file for you. You have turned him into a fool. I hope he wakes up. You are a cunning girl. Please leave the old man alone. The young man would not encourage you to leave him because he is living off him. The young man doesn't have any ambition but he will never rush you so you have no future with him. You think that you are smart but you are not. A smart girl would know that she should not be sleeping with two men simultaneously. You should break up your folly ground. I suggest you leave this younger man because he means you no good, and I also suggest that you leave this older man because you mean him no good.

Pastor