My sugar daddy is too jealous

Dear Pastor,

From I was 19 I have been having a relationship with a man. This man helped me through school but I knew that he had another girlfriend.

I knew the girl but she did not know that he and I were having a serious relationship. I have always loved him. I used to admire him before we became lovers but when I turned 19, the relationship got serious. He helped me to get a job I wasn't qualified for because of his position. Two years ago, he bought me a car. I love it and I enjoy driving it but I have a big problem with him. I am 25 now. He wants to know everywhere I am going and he does not want certain friends, especially male friends, to drive in his car. I can't deal with that.

I have thought about leaving him but I am ashamed to go back home because when I was leaving, my parents begged me not to and I cannot rent an apartment like the one I am living in because the rent is expensive. This man got the place for me and is paying the rent every month and he bought all the furniture. The only thing I have in this house are my clothes and my shoes. I also bought some kitchen utensils. There is another guy who I like very much. I told him that I was having problems and I am thinking of leaving my boyfriend. He told me that is great news for him so I should come and live with him. He doesn't have a girlfriend. At least that is what he told me. But I don't want to leave my boyfriend and go straight to live with a man. It is hard to break up with this man because he has done everything for me but his jealousy is overbearing. I have never cheated on him but he is controlling. I told him that he is not fair to me because he is living with his woman and all I want is to be able to go wherever I want to without him watching me. He told me women have cheated on him before so he will not allow any other woman to do that, and if I don't want to cheat, I shouldn't object to telling him where I am going and with whom. This man is only 44. I want to know from you what do you think of this matter.

V.E.

Dear V.E.,

I hope you will do what I am about to suggest. I am sure you have already told this man that you are fed up with him even though you love him.

I know I can't blame you for getting into a serious relationship with him although you knew that he had another woman in his life. I am going to purposefully excuse that by saying that you were giddy and naive and that this man did not show his true colours until he got you totally under his wings, so to speak. He was able to get you a job and I am sure that made you very happy. Then he rented an apartment for you and as a young girl you must have been very excited to know that you were leaving home and going to live in an apartment that was newly and fully furnished. So many girls have to struggle to furnish their apartments and doing so often put them in serious debt. This is a man of means and he was able to buy you a car. My goodness, you had made it. But you are fed up of his jealousy and he is totally controlling you. Now listen to me, don't allow this week to pass without leaving this man's place, and I say his place because he is paying for everything. But I go further. Tell him to come to your office and collect the keys for the car. Am I sounding as if I am crazy? Well, I know I am not crazy. Turn over the keys to the man without an argument. Call your parents and tell them that you are moving back in, and if that means that you will have to sleep on the floor, do so, because I am sure changes were made when you moved out so you might not have a bed on which to sleep. Go home, no argument with this man. Go back to your yard.

Pastor