I wish I had bigger breasts

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 and I have a little issue. I am living with my parents and my sister. My sister is only 17 and has big breasts. I envy her for that.

I ask her why my breasts are so small and she always laughs and says we are two different people. I have a boyfriend and he has never said that my breasts are too small. I asked him if they were and whether I should do anything to enlarge them and he said that I would be wasting my money. But I do admire my sister's lovely breasts.

I was told that I can have an operation to increase the size of my breasts. As I said, my boyfriend said that it would be a waste of money. But if it would make me more attractive, I would not consider that wasting money. Most men love women with large bottoms and big breasts. I have neither, but I have never had a problem attracting men.

My boyfriend tells me that he loves my bottom. Sometimes I don't know whether I should believe him. Anyway, I love him very much. I told him that when I am 21, I would love to get married. Whenever I talk about marriage, he doesn't respond. He is 24. I am trying to learn to accept myself as I am. But my sister is more attractive than I am.

My mother's chest is flat. She is always telling me that my sister will get married before me because my sister has what men are looking for.

My sister is not bright. She doesn't like to study. She likes to dress up. Right now she is sleeping with two different men. She asked me not to say a word to either of them and I told her that I would not embarrass her. One of them gives her money every week and when his babymother is not at home, he takes her there and have sex with her. He is twice her age. But she likes the 'bling bling' and he gives her enough money to buy whatever she wants.

Her other boyfriend is struggling. He comes from a poor family. He checks for her. My mother warns us not to get pregnant because it is easy for girls to get pregnant and some men don't show their true colours until they get women pregnant. My mother had to fight to keep my father after he got her pregnant. She even got into a fight with one of his girlfriends and the girl burst her head with a bottle. So, Pastor, what do you suggest I do about my breasts?

B.M.

Dear B.M.,

You are 19. It is time for you to learn to accept yourself as you are. Recently, I saw a documentary about a woman who was not very bright in school.

This woman said that her breasts were very small. But she did not allow her physical appearance to deter her from doing well. She eventually got into college and she studied hard and she graduated. She got married and became a very powerful business woman. She had a child when she was 40. Today, she has employed many people. She is known as a kind person who is always encouraging people to do well, but she is flat-chested and has learned to accept herself.

I am telling you these things so that you should learn that it is not having large breasts that counts, it is having character and high self-esteem. It is not about throwing yourself to Tom, Dick and Harry and playing around. So, I repeat, accept yourself. Study hard. Set high goals and you will surprise yourself with how well you would do in life.

I am sorry to know that your sister is playing around. If she is not cautious, she'll end up pregnant. She knows that one of the men has a babymother. She should leave that man alone because he may be using her only for sexual gratification.

Concerning the thought of doing surgery, please, perish that thought. The woman I told you about is now a millionaire and she has not done anything to enlarge her breasts. Your boyfriend accepts you. You say you want to get married and you wonder why he gets silent when you raise the matter. You are still so very young, you don't need to get married now. Neither should you worry about this man leaving you. Put your life in God's hand. Serve him everyday. Let me hear from you again. Take care of yourself.

Pastor