My wife moved out of the bedroom

Dear Pastor,

I have been married for more than 15 years. My wife is 20 years younger than I am.

When I met her, we never had a problem. I helped her to finish college, I taught her to drive and I bought her a car. My father gave me a piece of land and I built a house.

She chose what she wanted in the house. Everybody in her family seemed to like me. My biggest friend was her mother, who, to this day, if I don't go to see her, calls and asks me what is wrong and why I have thrown her away.

I run my little business, but I also do farming. We are never out of ground provisions. My wife and I don't have children together, but I have a son, who is living with us. He is 18. He got along well with my wife when he was younger. Now, they are not getting along. Everything he does she complains. He keeps his room tidy. He does not use our bathroom. He spends a lot of time on the computer doing his schoolwork. That does not bother me, but my wife is always complaining that he is running up the light bill.

A few days ago, my wife told my son that she believes it is time for him to go on his own. Pastor, he is only 18. She and my son got into an argument and he told her that he has nowhere to go. When she told him it was time for him to leave, I asked my wife where would he go, and she said he could go to his mother. I told her that she would have to leave also because she does not have any money in this house.

I don't know what has got into this woman. My father, who is 78, said that the way she is behaving, it looks like she has found another man. I don't know how to check her out because she has a password on her phone and I don't listen to her conversations.

I told her mother that her daughter has changed. Her mother told me that I should not pay any attention to her because she will never find another man like me. Her mother asked her what was going on, and when she came home she gave me a proper cursing. She moved out of the bedroom.

I have no intention of asking my son to leave because if anything happens to me here, he is the one I will have to turn to for help. My wife used to cook my dinner every day. Now she only cooks when she feels like it. I am very unhappy. If I get her out of this house, I would rent it and go back to my father's house. Pastor, please give me your advice.

R.

Dear R.,

You built a house and your wife and son moved in. Now your wife is insisting that it is time for your son to go on his own. He is only 18 and is in school. Why does she want to push this young man out? She should be happy that your son is living there and she should look at him as her very own.

Your letter has reminded me about a situation I know. I know a man who divorced his wife and went to live at a particular place. Two of his adult children went to live with him. They got along so very well. But the father fell in love with a much younger woman and married her. One child left, but one was still living there. It did not take long for this man's new wife to start complaining and to pressure her husband to put out the remaining child. This man told his daughter that it was time for her to go. This girl had no fuss with her father's new wife or with her dad. But, for peace, she packed up everything and moved out.

Now the new wife had this big house and everything to her convenience. She bled this man's pocket. He ended up losing his business and he had already lost his family. When she got what she wanted, she left him. He was a broken man.

I say that to you to help you to think. Do not allow your so-called wife to bring you to nothing. You do not know her plans. I suggest that you continue to be a good husband to her. But make an appointment to go and see a lawyer. You would be advised appropriately. I wish you well.

Pastor