My wife is sleeping with my best friend

Dear Pastor,

I am writing this letter to you with sorrow in my heart. My trouble started when my wife left me for my best friend.

I know my best friend and my wife were always talking but I trusted her. I did not know that she would have a relationship with him. I gave this woman everything she wanted. When I met her, she had one child and she did not know where to find the father. I took over and supported the little boy. I sent him to prep school and when he got into football, I made sure that I was there to support him. All the teachers at the school knew that I was his 'father' but he did not carry my name. I attended PTA meetings and did my best for the school. All that time I did not know that his mother was giving me bun with my best friend.

Sometimes when I went out with our son, my friend would pick up my wife from work and take her to the supermarket. She knew where I was all the time, so it was during that time that my wife was giving me bun hotter than iron. It went on for years. It was her son who caused me to know what was going on. He said something to his mother that caused me to wonder why he said that. Both of them had a little disagreement and he told his mother that she didn't love me. I overheard what he said. I asked him what he meant and he said his mother had another man in her life. He would not tell me who this man was.

She thought that he had said something to me and she threatened him and he told her that if she hit him, he would tell me what he knew. She told him that she would murder him. One day I asked him what was the problem and he said that his mother was going to bed with my friend and that his aunt knew about it and was laughing at me.

I was shocked. So I asked his aunt what she knew and she said that the relationship was going on for a long time. She also said that everybody in the family knew of her cheating ways. My heart is full because my wife has not denied having an affair with this man. She told our son that she should have killed him when he was in her womb.

The boy is now 17. He is her only child and we do not have children. I have a green card. Sometimes I go to America and work. My 'friend' (the bunna man) is not saying anything. But, I cannot remain in this relationship. But I don't want to leave my house to this woman. Wherever I go, I want to take this young man with me and to help him get an education. I need your guidance.

H.S.

Dear H.S.,

I believe that you need to see a lawyer. You did not say whether you are married to this woman. I don't get the impression that both of you are.

But whether you are or not, you appeared to be living together for a long time. So, you need to be careful how this matter is handled. You cannot afford to go about this the wrong way. Therefore, you need a lawyer. Your son will not tell lies about his mother and I doubt very much that her sister would lie as well. She may have very good reasons to believe that this woman is having an affair with your best friend. You trusted her. You did not watch her every move. While you were carrying out the duties of fatherhood, she was cheating. She is a wicked woman.

You did not give your age. But I am glad that you have a green card and that there is a possibility that you can go to America and get a job and start over, so to speak. I hope you have relatives there who would help you. You love your son. I hope that his mother would allow you to take him so that the boy would have the opportunity to have a good education. All these things would have to be discussed with a lawyer. Some so-called best friends are wicked. But keep heart my friend, and please, don't get yourself into any trouble.

Pastor