This 80-year-old man turns me on

Dear Pastor,

I have two problems, but the first one I need you to help me with the first one. I am 50 years old, but I am friendly with a man who is 80. I was told that he needed a caregiver, so I applied for the job. When I went there, I realised that this man could more than help himself. He still drives around, and he is very active. When I offered to tidy him, he said no, he could take his shower by himself. This man has the body of a 60-year-old. I clean, wash and cook for him.

This man did not ask any questions. I was the one who first asked him a question. He does not sleep in the bedroom where he and his wife used to sleep. He says it brings back too many memories. I used to go home at nights because I have two children, and although they have grown up, I feel so responsible for them. But it used to cost me to travel, so I asked him if I could stay and go home on weekends. He said I could go home on Saturdays, but I would have to cook his dinner and he would warm it up. I did that for a few weeks, but it wasn't working out very well. So I asked him if I could stay instead of leaving on a Saturday. He said that was OK with him. He told me that if any of my children wanted to come sometimes, he did not have any objection. He likes to eat fish, So I was mostly cooking fish.

I fell in love with this man. I did not know how to control myself anymore, so I told him. He said he could not be friendly with his caregiver. I felt so ashamed. But one night I heard a knock on my door; it was him. He asked if he could come in and I said yes. He laid on the bed until he fell asleep. He did not touch me. That happened again for three consecutive nights, until finally I asked him if he was all right. Wr ended up kissing and having sex. I have spoken to his children. They are living in America and they beg me to take care of their father. I love this man so much, and I told him. He says that he cannot love again, but I can work with him as long as I want. Please give me your advice.

M.D.

Dear M.D.,

I have observed that you did not write the second problem you were having. So, let me address what you have written about. You got a job as a caregiver and you like the job. But you also love the person with whom you are working, and my guess is that you want your status to change. You want to become this man's wife. But this man is behaving like a real gentleman. You wanted him to be a little more aggressive.

I don't think you have told me the full truth. You are a hot 50-year-old, and I suppose you are trying to impress this man. Both of you are old enough to speak frankly. So what I would suggest is that you tell him how you feel about him. If he is not interested, he will tell you. I can't say that he is not interested in you at all, because he knocked on your door and you let him in, and both of you have slept together. But how long is that going to continue? Try and get out of him how he feels about you. But remember, you are going to have to deal with his children, also. Children do not like younger women having relationships with their elderly fathers. So think about that. Don't push yourself on this man. Go easy on him. If he loves you, he will tell you.

Pastor