I am in love with my stepfather

Dear Pastor,

I am 24 years old and I need your advice. I am living at home with my mother, two brothers and my stepfather. I have a problem because I have a boyfriend who is also 24. When I was 18, I had sex with my stepfather. He took my virginity. I promised that I would not tell anyone because he is a good stepfather and he treated me very well. So, that was between the both of us. When I needed any money and my mother would not give it to me, my stepfather always did.

I do not know my father. My mother has not told me much about him. When I was about eight years old, I questioned her about him and she said she didn't know where to find him. She was not even sure of his first name. By the time I was 17, I had a boyfriend. But we did not start having sex.

My stepfather used to travel and he used to buy nice things for me. I got to love him more and more. If I wanted nice pants, my mother would say I should ask my stepfather and he would tell me to wait until he got his pay and I would get it. Sometimes when my mother roughs up my stepfather, I don't like it. I left my boyfriend and two years ago I met this guy that I am now with. He has a child with an older girl. But he said that it was a mistake. I love him, but I still love my stepfather. We don't have sex often, but sometimes we still take the chance.

Pastor, I know it is wrong. My stepfather tells me how I am lovely and he hopes that my boyfriend will take good care of me. I know people would think that I am a bad girl, but love is a very strange thing. My boyfriend has a good job, but I don't love him as much as I love my stepfather. Sometimes I sleep out. My boyfriend says that he would like me to get pregnant for him. I am not ready for that as yet. He wants me to get pregnant before he marries me because he wants to make sure that I can get pregnant. I discuss everything with my parents and my stepfather says that I should not allow my boyfriend to get me pregnant. I am now on the pill but my boyfriend does not know. When I am ready to have a child, I will stop taking the pill.

Right now, my biggest problem is how to stop having sex with my stepfather. Pastor, tell me what to do.

K.

Dear K.,

You have not said that you do not love your boyfriend. What you have said is that you love your stepfather more than your boyfriend. To me, that is a big problem.

The temptation for you and your stepfather is that you all are living in the house with your mother. You are fortunate that your mother does not have a clue that you and your stepfather are involved. I am sure that is because she considers that both of you get along very well as daughter and stepfather. She knows that some girls do not get along with their stepfathers.

bad girl

You may not want to accept it, but you are a very, very bad girl and your stepfather is very wicked. You are 24 years old and if you love your stepfather so much that you will freely go to bed with him, you should leave your mother's house and you should do so immediately. This will prevent you from yielding to the temptation. You have a boyfriend so if you were to leave and your stepfather should visit you, your boyfriend would question why he is visiting you.

Concerning your boyfriend wanting you to get pregnant, you say that you are not ready to have a child and that is why you are on the pill. But I also believe that you are on the pill because you do not want your stepfather to get you pregnant. I beg you, please, end the sexual relationship with your stepfather. Tell your mother that you feel it is time to move on. I am not condemning you, but you are very wicked and very iniquitous.

Pastor