Sister-in-law stole my panties

Dear Pastor,

I have been married for about 20 years. My husband is a good man, he treats me well. But he lies a lot when it comes to his relatives. He always defends them.

He has a sister who is a thief, and that is why I don't want her to visit us often. On one occasion when she visited us, I missed some of my jewellery. I did not remember to lock them away.

I was busy in the kitchen and she was talking to her brother. So I was not thinking about my jewellery. After I prepared dinner, we all sat down and ate. After she left, I couldn't find some of my jewellery. I told my husband about the pieces that I was missing, and he said he didn't know what became of them. He thought I might have made a mistake. I called his sister immediately, and she said she didn't know what I was talking about.

My husband said that while I was in the kitchen, both of them were talking and the only place she went was in the bathroom. That is a lie; he is covering up for his sister. I had a pair of earrings that my husband bought for me and I cherished them; now they are gone. I told my husband that I am going to report her to the police. He said I can't prove that she took them, so it would be a waste of time to go to the police. He said he will buy another pair. It was not the first and only time that she has stolen my things. She stayed with us one night, a couple of years ago, and she took away three of my expensive panties. My husband defended her. So I dropped the argument, but I have never asked her if she took them.

CAN'T AFFORD IT

This woman is working and she is living with a man. So why can't she afford to buy her own underwear? My husband said that I hate his sister and that is why I am always accusing her of stealing. He told me some 'hot words', like everybody on my side of the family is a thief, but he doesn't know any thieves on his side. He also said that if I don't want her to come back and visit him, I should tell her, but he will not stop her from coming to our house.

How should I handle this matter? Apart from the arguments over his sister, my husband and I get along well. Any woman would want him as a husband. Please give me your advice.

S.

Dear S.,

Try to live in peace with your husband. You know that he is a good man, but his sister cannot be trusted. Don't give the impression to your husband that you don't want her to visit at all. You know you can't trust her, so make sure that whenever she is coming to visit, your valuable items are secured.

I am assuming that the earrings were expensive. Your husband bought them, so apart from the cost, they have sentimental value. You are not crazy. You have good reasons to believe that your sister-in-law stole them.

But it doesn't make any sense arguing with your husband about it. These panties you are alleging that she took, you describe them as expensive. I won't comment on that. I would hate to think that you would have to hide your underwear when your sister-in-law is around, or that she might be so financially embarrassed that she had to steal panties from you.

Try your best to live in peace with your husband, and don't say anything negative about his sister or anyone on his side of the family.

Pastor