Friends wish they had a boyfriend like mine

Dear Pastor,

I will be 20 years old this month. My boyfriend is 25 years old and he and I have been going for two years. He got me pregnant, but I lost the baby, and some people told him that I threw away the child.

Pastor, I did not have an abortion. I was so sad when I realised that the baby was gone. My boyfriend knew that I didn't do anything to throw away the baby. So he got closer to me. My mother allowed him to come and stay with me at her house. Some of her church people were against her for doing so. But she told them that he was her son-in-law and we were going to get married.

VERY CARING

No wedding was planned but six months after losing the baby, I got a job and my boyfriend and I agreed that it was time for us to get married. After a year, he got me pregnant again and I felt better.

We don't go out often. We are saving our money. Some of my friends told me that they wished they had boyfriends like mine because he is very caring and he does not make anything bother him. When I told my mother that he asked me to marry him, she said that I should wait until COVID was over, so I can have a nice wedding.

My mother was never married and I am her only child. My father got her pregnant, then he got another woman pregnant, and my mother told him that he should chose between the two of them, and he chose the other woman. I have one sister, but we are not close.

I introduced my boyfriend to my father. My father said he seems to be a good person. My father likes to play around with young girls, even those younger than my age. He would like to get back together with my mother, but my mother said that she is not interested in him. My mother has a good job. She bought a two-bedroom house through the National Housing Trust, so she is trying to pay for it. My father doesn't own a place of his own. My mother says that she will not take him back.

My boyfriend and I have applied to work in another country. I would like to go away so that I can help my mother. I have so much to talk about but I will stop here.

J.

Dear J.,

You have had some problems that would cause anyone to be depressed. But if you were depressed, you are surely not depressed right now.

I can see that you and your mother have a good relationship. I hope that will continue. It must be very difficult for a girl to be accused of having an abortion when she was not guilty of doing so.

So often when a girl gets pregnant and loses the pregnancy, people accuse her of having an abortion. Often that is not true. Now that you are pregnant again, you feel much better.

You and your fiance would like to get married. You should not be in a hurry to do so. The pastor of the church that you both attend should be able to give you guidance. You have mentioned that you and your fiance would like to live in another country. I hope that you would not try to leave Jamaica and live there illegally. Do everything above board. I wish you well.

Pastor