My boyfriend is pressuring me for sex

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 and I am a virgin. I am in the church, but my boyfriend is not a Christian. He and I have been friends for two years. He is pressuring me for sex.

When we met, I told him that I am a Christian and I had never had sex. He told me that he would wait until I was ready. I asked him if he was sure and he said yes.

One of my friends told me that she saw my boyfriend at a place that he shouldn't be. So I asked him whether he was at that place and he said yes. I asked him why he went there and he said he wasn't there alone; a couple of other guys and girls were there from his workplace. He promised that he wouldn't go back and I warned him.

I have not gone anywhere with any other guy. But every time we talk now, he brings up the argument about sex. If I have a headache, he tells me that it is because I am not having sex and he heard that it would relieve my tension, so we should start having sex. No matter what I tell him, he is insisting that it is time for us to go to bed.

I don't want to lose him, but I don't want to have sex with him, so I am asking you for your advice.

T.P.

Dear T.P.,

You are 20 years of age, so it is time for you to stop allowing men to fool you. It is a very common thing for men to tell women that if they have sex with them, they would not have headaches and that their headaches are a result of not having sex. If your boyfriend continues to pressure you for sex, then you should consider ending the relationship. You should not be in any secluded or private place with him alone because he may lose his senses and try to force you. I hope that will never happen but what I am trying to say is you have to try and protect yourself. I wish you well.

Pastor