Boyfriend only wants to have sex in the car - Says he won’t disrespect his parents’ house

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old and I have a big problem. My boyfriend always wants me to make love to him in his car. He is living at his parents' home and he has his own room.

I have been in his room. I don't see his parents watching him. But then he would suggest that we leave and he would park at certain spots that he believe are private enough and we would have sex in his car. There is a famous spot where we do it all the time. I asked my boyfriend why he does this and he said that he has to respect his parents and if we were married, it would be a different matter.

My boyfriend once took me home and just a few feet from my gate, the man had sex with me right there. It was raining heavily, so no one could have seen us. I love this man so much. He said he is not ready to get married, so I can't force him. One day, I told him that I don't want to have sex with him in his car anymore, so I can pay to go to one of these small hotels and spend time together. He said he did not want to go because too many people know him and he would not want to take me where so many men go with their women.

He asked me if I have ever gone to one of these places and I said no. But I was lying because before I met him, my former boyfriend used to take me, but I cannot allow him to know that.

I got some money from my partner draw and I told my boyfriend that we can use some of it to spend a weekend in a nice hotel. I thought he would agree but instead, he said we can save that money to pay down on our own place. I could not argue with him. I just said I was tired of having sex in his car. What would his parents have to do with us? They know that we are together. I cannot even stretch out my legs in his car.

Pastor, I wonder if you would meet with us because I love this man so much and I don't want to lose him. Please for your advice.

P.R

Dear P.R.,

I suspect that your boyfriend doesn't want anyone to see him with you because they know that he has other girlfriends. That is why he might not want to take you to one of these cheap hotels. Perhaps when he says that he doesn't want to make love to you in his parents' home, he might be speaking the truth. He feels that he might be doing something disrespectful to his parents. I don't know. On the other hand, he may not want to make love to you in his parents' home because his parents might know other girls with whom he is having relationships. I don't believe that this man is coming clean with you.

While I do not wish to tell you what to do, I would suggest that you think about this relationship carefully because I believe that this man is only using you. Make sure you don't allow this man to get you pregnant because you may end up having to support that child on your own. This man is hiding something, but I don't know what.

Pastor