Not sure I can make it with this woman - Think that we are incompatible

Dear Pastor,

I am 39 and my girlfriend is 41. I was married, but my wife died in an accident. So my girlfriend and I have only been together for the past two years.

We do not have children, but she has admitted that she has had several relationships. This woman and I are trying to determine whether we are compatible. She does not like to go out, while I like to go out with my friends. She likes living alone and likes to cook. She has a good job. She does not ask me for anything.

Her mother recently moved in with her. So whenever I go to her home now, the mother locks herself in her room after saying a few words of greetings. I don't always feel comfortable having her mother around, and this woman wears the skimpiest of clothes when she is expecting me. She always wants me in her bedroom. She calls me a chicken and reminds me that she is a grown woman. I am not sure I can handle this woman. She knows every position in the book. I am beginning to wonder whether we are compatible.

B.T.

Dear B.T.,

You are both old enough to talk matters over. You said that she is older than you and she has had a number of relationships. Although you were married, you did not play around much, or at all, before you wed.

This woman's mother has moved in with her, but that is not preventing this woman from going into her room and spending time with you. You do not feel comfortable with that. But that is something for both of you to talk over. I do not see what this woman is doing to cause you to be concerned about whether you are compatible. I think that both of you are not communicating well. So work on the communication and the relationship will ultimately improve.

Pastor