My sister’s boyfriend keeps asking me for sex

Dear Pastor,

I am almost 19 and I am living with my eldest sister who is 31. She has a boyfriend and from the time I came here, he has been pestering me for sex. I don't like him.

I told my sister that he asked me for sex. She said that it was hard for her to believe it. She said that if I got involved with him, she would send me back to the country, because she brought me here to help me.

He continues to ask me for sex, but I am afraid to talk to my sister about it again because there is nothing in the country for me.

The only thing I miss about the country is my boyfriend who is there. But he can't help me. We are the same age and he is learning to do welding. Sometimes the boss doesn't give him much work. But he is not leaving; he wants to learn the skill. My sister's boyfriend called me a fool because I told my sister what was happening between us. I have not told my boyfriend or my mother about this man who is pestering me. If I do, my mother would encourage me to come home. I have not started to go back to school yet. My sister plans to send me to the HEART/NSTA Trust. I am a well-behaved girl. I love my sister. She helps my mother. My father is a farmer and he works very hard.

I would love for you to advise me about what to do. My brother and I share the same room at my sister's place. My brother is a gentleman. When my sister's boyfriend asked me for sex the first time, I told my brother and he started to curse and he told me that I should tell my sister what's going on. He said that if he could afford it, he would move out and get his own place and take me with him. My brother helps my sister to pay the rent and he contributes to the food bill. The only problem I have living here is with my sister's boyfriend. Please give me your advice.

R.

Dear R.,

You have already complained to your sister about her boyfriend's behaviour. But you only did so once. And her boyfriend has not stopped harassing you. You are indeed a wise young girl. But I am going to suggest that you tell your brother to talk to this man and ask him to stop harassing you. He should tell him that he is well aware of what he is doing. And if he does not stop, he will have to find a place where both of you can share. And the burden of paying the rent would be on your sister and himself.

Your brother should not be afraid of the threat your sister made to send you back to rural Jamaica if you were to become involved with her boyfriend. You have no intention of becoming involved with him. If your sister really wants to help you, she should warn her boyfriend that if he continues to try and harass you, she would end the relationship with him. I am not saying that it is a very easy thing to do, but good men don't take advantage of in-laws.

This man probably believes that you can't do better, but you can. And with your brother's help, you can get a measure of protection against this man who is behaving as if he is out of control.

Pastor