Don’t like how my sister treats our mom

Dear Pastor,

I am living abroad and I usually send money to help support my mother. She is over 70 years old and unable to work. My sister is living at the house.

She is responsible for taking our mother to the doctor and to buy her medication. My sister got pregnant, and her boyfriend moved in to the house. None of my mother's children like the idea of her man living at the house with my mother, who is a Christian woman. We asked our sister why she and this man didn't get married. She said she did not want to get married to him just because she got pregnant.

My mother complains that sometimes when I send the money, my sister uses it to buy food for her child's father and herself, and when she wants to go to the doctor, she says there is no money. I called my sister and told her that she should put my mother first. My sister cursed me and told me that if I don't like what is going on, I should come and take care of my mother myself.

This man does not like to work. Some of the money that me and my brother sent home, my sister used it to buy a car, and this man used the car to run taxi. We know it is our money because my mother has a bank account, and when we checked the bank there was no money in it. I cannot choose for my sister, but I know that she could do better than what she is doing.

My sister is not working. We are thinking of paying her weekly to take care of mama. We believe this is the best thing for us to do. My mother is a very quiet person. Sometimes when we call and talk to her, she cries. What suggestion do you have to give us?

L.

Dear L.,

I congratulate your siblings and yourself for endeavouring to take care of your mother. You have one sister who is in Jamaica and living at the house, so I would ask you to show her much respect. She has her boyfriend, who is living at the house. Don't make that bother you at all. I believe the suggestion you have made is good. You should have a conference on Zoom and come to a consensus on how your sister should be treated. She should be offered a certain amount of money to take care of your mother every week, so that there is no misunderstanding how the money you send to her should be spent.

If you offer to give her about $10,000 or $20,000 per week, it is up to her how she spends her money. But she is not at liberty to use the money that was sent to support her mother to support herself, her child and her boyfriend. Sometimes when siblings are talking, they say the wrong things to each other. Always try to be calm and respectful to your siblings.

I hope that each sibling will realise that your sister, who is living at the house, is making a sacrifice to take care of your mother. And I hope that her boyfriend is not being disrespectful to your mother. Take good care, and let me hear from you again.

Pastor