My boyfriend’s grandmother doesn’t like me

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 years old and I am living at home with my parents. My father and mother are not married but they have a stable relationship. My father likes to make lots of jokes. He takes good care of us. There are three of us: two girls and one boy.

When I was 16, I told my father about my boyfriend. I knew that he would not be against me having a boyfriend because he and my mother became lovers when she was 16. My father wanted to meet with my boyfriend, who was nervous about meeting my dad. I took him home and my parents sat with the both of us and told us that we should not stop going to school.

good girls don't

My boyfriend wants to be an accountant. He has been helping me with certain subjects. He promised my father that he would not let him down. I love my boyfriend, but I don't like some of his people. When he took me to meet with his grandmother, I had on a cut-up jeans pants and she told me that good girls don't wear that type of clothes. I was very upset. I told her that I am a good girl. She told me to stop wearing that type of jeans. All she did was to find faults with me.

My boyfriend said that I should not be upset. He said she went on like that because of the type of church she attends. They don't believe that a woman should wear pants. I told him that I don't want to go back to her yard. I want to help my boyfriend. Sometimes he gives me money, but I don't pressure him.

Do you think that his grandmother should condemn me because I wear cut-up jeans?

C.P

Dear C.P.,

Forgive the grandmother of your boyfriend. She belongs to what we may call the 'old school'. Perhaps when she made the comment about what you were wearing, she did not mean any harm. So, don't take her on. Wearing the type of jeans you had on is fashion. Grandma is not in fashion. Perhaps she would wear her skirt down to her ankle, and if she does, you should criticise her.

Study hard and make your parents proud of you. Give your boyfriend all the support you can in his quest to become a chartered accountant.

Pastor