Why I am not getting pregnant?

Dear Pastor,

I am a 27-year-old woman, and I have had a few boyfriends. I became sexually active when I was 19 years old. I was with that man throughout my university years. We had sex very often. He was five years older than I. His parents were living abroad, so he and his sister were left alone in the house. His sister and I got along very well. I used to go to the house every chance I had. His sister was a graduate of the university, and sometimes she assisted me with my work. She had a steady boyfriend. Whenever I visited and was with my boyfriend, she minded her own business. She was a trusted friend.

The relationship with my boyfriend and I got sour because he got another girl pregnant and he did not want me to know. However, his sister told me. They had a heated argument over the matter because he told her to mind her own business. She told him that she wouldn't want her boyfriend to get another girl pregnant.

The girl who he got pregnant knew about me. She even had my number. She called me to say that my boyfriend came to her because I didn't know how to do certain things. The situation became too overwhelming, and after a while my boyfriend and I broke up.

His sister told me I can come to the house at any time to visit her. One day I went, and while I was there my ex-boyfriend and his pregnant woman came and saw me. He asked why I was there, and his sister told him that she told me that I could come to visit her at any time. I was never so embarrassed in all my life. I called a taxi and left.

Pastor, I tried other guys but I could not have a good relationship with any of them. I am now in a relationship with a new guy. He is younger than I am. I was surprised that, as a man, he has never had sex before I met him. He was a virgin. When he told me he was a virgin, I did not believe because he is handsome, athletic and many girls like him. He grew up in the church. He said that he avoided sex because he was scared of contracting sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV/AIDS. When we had sex for the first time it was like I was robbing the cradle. Our relationship is going very well. We used to use the condom, but we don't any more because I would like to get pregnant. He says that even if I become pregnant, he would marry me.

I found out recently that his father told him that he should try and get me pregnant. He is still living at home. He tells me what he does with his money and he has very good savings. He is a good man. I am wondering why I am not getting pregnant.

Do you think something is wrong with me?

K.N.

Dear K.N.,

Because this man is younger than you does not mean that you are robbing the cradle. It is not unusual for a man who is in his 20s to be a virgin. He did not play around with many women. You became sexually active early and the man with whom you had sex was not faithful to you. He got involved with a woman who had no class at all. She taunted you and mocked you but you overcame that.

You have now found a good man. You should not be eager to become pregnant. In fact, you should get married and settle down before you become pregnant. Some people will not agree with me, but I believe that it would be better to have a child born within wedlock.

Take good care of yourself. You and this man should work together and purchase your own home. If you are in good health and he is in good health, the children will come. Be guided by your family doctor.

Pastor