My girlfriend says she’s too young to get married

Dear Pastor,

My girlfriend is 19 years old and I am 25. I have been responsible for her from she was 16. Her father never supported her and her mother has other children. I sent her to school. During the pandemic, I made sure she had everything. I am in the army. I didn't like where she was living, so my mother told me that I could take her to live with us. She was glad to get out of the area. Her mother did not object for her to leave. She and my mother became very good friends.

I bought a washing machine for my mother. She also uses it to wash. She wants to be a nurse. I don't get to see my girlfriend as I would like to, but my mother told me I don't need to worry she is always home. Although she is staying in my room, I give my mother $12,000 as rent each month, because we are still paying mortgage.

too young for me

My mother is a churchwoman but she has never prevented me from having girlfriends. She knew that I have had more than five girlfriends. She always warns me about getting young girls pregnant. I don't plan to stay in the army all the days of my life. I would like to go away and study, and I want my girlfriend to go with me.

Do you think she is too young for me? She doesn't want to hear me talk about marriage. She says she is too young for that. There are benefits I can get from the army if I get married. I don't intend to fool this girl? What do you suggest?

Initial Withheld

Dear ......,

You don't have to fool the girl. In fact, you have shown her that you truly care for her and that is why you have her at your mother's house. I am glad your mother likes her and that they get along well. You are not too old for her. What you should try and do is to encourage her to pursue the career that she loves. She respects your mother, and it seems she would not do anything that is outside the ordinary, because she knows that that would bring an end to the relationship.

I don't want to comment on what benefits you may get from the army if you were to get marry. What I do know is that that should not be your purpose in getting married. Give the relationship time. The young woman is not ready to get married so don't force that issue at all.

Pastor