Getting pregnant for this man was a mistake

Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you. I am 21 years old and I am pregnant. My boyfriend is denying that he is the father of the child that I am carrying. He is giving people the impression that I am a bad girl, even though he knows that I did not fool around any other man.

When we became friends, I had a boyfriend but that relationship ended when this man and I started to go out together. In fact, to get the relationship to end, I went and slept at this man's house. My boyfriend was calling everywhere trying to find me. I left home without telling anybody where I was going, so when this man picked me up and took me to his home, I didn't have any clothes. I had to wash my underwear and hang it up to dry, and he gave me a shirt to sleep in.

He didn't have any condom so we took the chance and had sex, and that's how I became pregnant. It is only now I am hearing that he has another woman and she has a child by him. He is denying that he got me pregnant because he is still with her.

I made a mistake to get pregnant by this man. I thought he was somebody, but he is nobody. I could have aborted this child when I found out that I got pregnant. He told me that abortion is murder, so I should carry the pregnancy. Now, he is telling people that I am not pregnant for him. I asked him a few days ago why he is treating me this way and telling people that I am not pregnant for him, and he said he has not told anybody that.

My mother is so upset with me, and the reason she is upset is because she likes my former boyfriend. She told me that I should try and make up with him after I have my baby. But I cannot do so because my mind is turned from him. I am asking you please to tell me what to do.

C.

Dear C.,

I wonder what your former boyfriend did that caused you to end the relationship with him. I wonder what drove you to this other guy. Were you not getting any money or enough from your former boyfriend? Some women judge a good relationship by the amount of money a man gives to them. Some women always want more than men can afford. Some men cause women to walk away from them because when the relationship is young, these men spend on them and give the impression that money is never a problem with them. That is, of course, to impress the women.

Other men, from the beginning of the relationship always cry broke and tell women that their money is tied up. So the women spend money on them, instead of the men spending money on the women. So I am asking you, why did you leave your former boyfriend? I am sure that you miss him. I hope that he will never take you back into his life.

This man who got you pregnant does not trust you. Neither does he love you. He was just seeking to have a good time with you and, unfortunately, he got you pregnant. He said that the child you are carrying is not his. That can be settled easily after you have given birth. Take him to court and tell the judge the whole truth. I am sure the judge will order a DNA test to be done.

In the future, be very careful how you enter a relationship. Get to know the man very well before you commit yourself to him. If you do not wish to keep the child, you may give it up for adoption.

Pastor