Back-stabbing friend stealing my boyfriend

Dear Pastor,

I need some advice. I have been living with my children's father for 12 years. I am 29 years old and he is 31. We have two children together. One is six years old and the other is seven months old. About a week ago, I found out that this man is having an affair with a young lady who I know as a friend. They have been together for four years, and they have a three-year-old child.

This man has hurt my feelings so much, pastor, I decided to leave his house. The girl texts me a lot of dirty messages telling me about my vagina, and that I cannot hold my man. My children's father told her a lot of things about me and she used them to curse me. Now, he is telling me to ignore the girl and that he is going to change. He is asking me to come home.

I honestly love him, but I am ashamed to go back to his place because of the young lady. She has been telling the entire community negative things about me. The child she has for my children's father is in another man's name, but my children's father is giving her money for the child.

Pastor, do you believe that I should give him another chance and continue the relationship?

N.

Dear N.,

Your children's father chats too much. He is not the type of man a woman can talk to in confidence. A woman should be able to tell her man just about anything she feels he ought to know, without having any fear that he would repeat it to anyone. He is a sissy! He is not confidential, and the child he is supporting might not be his own.

A woman could always fool a 'chatta box'. Anything she says to him, he is likely to believe. This girl who sends you the texts has no shame. I hope that you will never reply to any of her texts. Women should not curse other women and tell them about their private parts.

I am suggesting that you insist that this man supports his children, but you should not return to him unless he ends the relationship he is having with this woman. He cannot be allowed to believe that you would accept him back in your life and behave as if nothing has happened.

I will go further to say, try your very best not to depend on this man for support. Try and get yourself a job, if you are not yet working. Unfortunately, you have got involved with a man who has no integrity at all. So, I repeat, unless he is prepared to end the relationship with the other girl, who has nothing but a dirty mouth, don't renew your relationship with him.

Pastor