Caught between two girls

Dear Pastor,

I am a young man and I have two girlfriends: one is my age and the other is 17. I am 21. I am having sex with the both of them. But the 17-year-old found out about the older one and she complained to my mother. My mother likes her because she is of brown complexion, and my mother told me that when we get older, I should marry her because our children will be brown-skinned.

STILL IN SCHOOL

My older girlfriend is insisting that I should leave this 'baby' alone because she is still in school. She is not a baby because the things that we do together, my older girlfriend and I have never done. I am not always able to buy what I want and this woman buys things for me like nice shirts and cologne. She is working with her brother as a secretary and he pays her well. That is one of the reasons why I am with her. On Valentine's Day, she bought me expensive cologne.

The teenager argued with me because I didn't have anything to send her, except to wish her 'Happy Valentine's Day'. I asked her what she wanted and she told me she wanted to do her nails and hair. Her mother sells in the market and she is alone at home on Saturdays. She always insists that I come to see her and whenever I go, I have to have sex with her. One day I went there and I did not have any condoms. To my surprise, she did. I asked her where she got condoms and she told me that she got them from the clinic.

Pastor, it seems to me that this girl is keeping another man with me. Sometimes I don't go to her place because I have to be with my other girlfriend. My girlfriend told me that if I am still fooling around with the younger girl, she will cut off my penis. I don't want to have two women because I have to lie too much. What do you think I should do?

A.

Dear A.,

You are only 21. You shouldn't be having two serious relationships. The question is, which of these girls do you love more? Your mother is brainwashed. She sees this 17-year-old girl as a good choice because she is of light complexion and if both of you get married and have children, the children will have brown complexion. At least, that is what she thinks.

There are so many people who still maintain that foolish belief that 'brown' is beautiful. But it doesn't matter whether a person has brown complexion or black complexion, that person should not be judged by the colour of their skin. Many brown-skinned girls are very brilliant, but others are very dumb. Some of them use their colour to entice men. But that is all they have. We know that black is beautiful. If your dark-skinned girlfriend has ambition and she cares about you, you have a good thing going.

It would be wrong for you to be taking money from your older girlfriend and pretending that you love her. If you truly love her, then drop the relationship you are having with the teenager and encourage her to focus on getting an education.

I rather doubt what she told you about the condoms. She seems to be more mature than you think. Perhaps she has other boyfriends, but it is not for me to judge her or condemn her. All I am saying is that you should not have two women in your life at the moment. It is unfair to give the older one the impression that you are true to her when you are not.

Pastor