My boyfriend comes up short

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 and I have a boyfriend. I love him very much. He is only 19 and he was always asking me for sex. So one day we went out.

We did not have enough money to take a taxi, so he called his brother and his brother took us to my house. No one was home so we started to make out. For a 19-year-old, I was surprised. He has nothing to offer me. I have had sex with different guys and he is the smallest. He has nothing in his pants. His penis is small, like that of a little child. I held it and squeezed it, and asked him if it will grow bigger; he said he does not know.

I lost my virginity to a man who had a large penis, and I was comfortable with the other guys who I had relationships with. But when I saw the size of this man, it turned me off and I couldn't bother to do anything.

My best friend told me that I should have tried him to see if he could manage, but I was turned off. I love this man. He is still at university and he helps me a lot. I am not even sure that this man can get me pregnant when I am ready for a child. He was very embarrassed because I refused to have sex with him. I told him next time, but I doubt the next time will come. I need to hear your comments.

Initials Withheld.

Dear Writer,

You are only 20 and this man is 19. You have had sexual encounters with other men and to you, the size of a man's penis matters. I have had many letters from men who have small penises.

It is a real concern to them. Sometime ago, I heard from a lady whose son had a very large and long penis. She might have exaggerated. She said her son's penis was 12 inches long and he talks to her about his size very often. She had to assure him that he did not need to fret. He will find a woman who will love him and not cheat on him because of his size.

The truth is, when women meet and discuss the size of the penis, most of them are convinced that the bigger it is, the better the sex will be. Nevertheless, if it is oversize, they are not eager to go with such men. But when a man has a small penis, he is deeply embarrassed and feels that his size is not adequate. Men have told me in their letters that they have gone to doctors, and the doctors have assured them that they are not small. But they are still not convinced that they have the right size.

Your boyfriend must have been very embarrassed when you suddenly changed your mind from having sex with him. Please don't misunderstand him. I am not saying that you should have had sex with this man. I am just saying that he must have been greatly embarrassed. A good relationship cannot be based only on sex. Don't be willing to throw this relationship away. Get to know this guy very well, and then both of you can go to see a sex therapist when the time is right.

If you were to talk about the other guys with whom you have had sex, you may turned this young man off. So learn to keep your mouth shut.

Pastor