Not sure if my boyfriend is too old for me

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old and my boyfriend is 31. When I was 16, I met a man who told me that he loved me. I told my mother that I had met this man and she asked me what he could do for me.

I told her that I did not know but I liked him. My mother told me that those days are done. Just liking a man is not good enough. My mother has four children and I am the third child.

The two older children are living in America with their father. He went away and he promised that he would return to marry my mother but he never did. He found an American woman and married her. So my mother got involved with another man and had two more children by him. He was a hard worker but he was very jealous and controlling. My mother stayed with him and they got along. He tried to send us to school.

This guy who I fell in love with when I was 16 always wanted to have sex with me. But from the time my mother asked me what he could do for me and I said that to him, he was not the same person. He said that I did not love him and that I only wanted to have his money. But my mother was right. He was not a good man for me.

Now I am going with this older man and he is sending me to school. I love him. He is very mature and I don't have to beg him for anything. I can call him any time and I do not have to tell him in advance when I am coming to his house. Every time I go there, he is ready for me. Do you think he is too old for me? Every day I love him more and more. Give me your best advice.

T.M.

Dear T.M.,

I do not believe that this man is too old for you. But I hope that this older man is not going to just use you. You need a good education and your mother should guide you. You seem to be sure that this man does not have another woman. I really hope that he is speaking the truth. Work hard. Focus on your plans for the future. I wish you every success.

Pastor