My mother is a prostitute

Dear Pastor,

I am a 20-year-old woman and I am the second child for my mother. I did not get much love from her, as she did not have much time for us.

She was always going out at nights, telling us that she was working the 'night shift'. We were living at our grandmother's house. My grandmother treated us well. When my mother came home, she spent most of the day in bed.

As I got older, I suspected that my mother did not have a permanent job. She was always hiding her bag, so one day when she went out, I searched her bag and saw different types of condoms. It was the first time I saw a female condom. I saw other things, like foam and oils. I saw a SIM for a cell phone, so I took it out. But I was afraid to use it, so I put it back. I saw over $50,000 in my mother's bag. I was convinced that my mother was selling herself.

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I asked my grandmother where my mother worked and she said she did not know. I told her that I would like to know because if she became ill, how would we find her? My grandmother said if that happened, we should contact our uncle and he would take her to the hospital.

One day I did something wrong and my mother decided to beat me. I decided to run away, so I told my mother that I saw what she had in her bag. That made her very angry. She said that because I thought I was a big woman, she was going to put me out. My grandmother told her that it was not her house so she couldn't put me out. But after she left to go to 'work', as she put it, I told my grandmother what I saw. She was surprised and told me not to tell anybody. My grandmother warned me not to follow in my mother's footsteps.

A year ago I had sex for the first time with a big man, and he became my man. My mother tried to break us up, but I told her that I only wanted one man and did not want to do what she does for a living. I am living with this man. I got a new cell phone and I gave my grandmother my number. She gave the number to my mother and she called me. She was crying and asked me to forgive her for the threats she made against me.

Pastor, I love my mother, but she is still on the streets. I told her that I know everything about what she is doing. She said she has been doing that before she was 18 and that was what she did to support us, because my father was a deadbeat dad. I am in school and hope to help my mother.

My boyfriend has never been married. He is 50, and I love him with all my heart. I don't intend to leave him, regardless of what people say. I will never be like my mother. My grandmother told me to leave her alone.

D.

Dear D.,

I am glad that you have a very understanding grandmother. But I am also happy to know that the relationship between your mother and yourself has improved. The man with whom you are having a relationship could be your father, but he is helping you. I hope that you will not waste your time in school, and I hope that you will have a career.

Your mother is a prostitute, and it is not a life she can just walk away from easily. But let us hope that one day she will cease from that type of life. I wish you well, and I pray that the Lord will watch other you.

Pastor