Afraid to lose my boyfriend if he migrates

Dear Pastor,

I am in my early 30s and I have three children. Their father and I are not married but we have talked about it many times.

Presently, we are living at his parents' home but they are in America. I am confused because this man has suddenly turned his mind against Jamaica. He is saying that all his people are living abroad so it would be better for him to go abroad too.

I have no problem if he does not want to stay in Jamaica. But I told him that we should get married and go to America as a family. He said his folks are not encouraging him to get married now. As I listen to him, it appears that they want him to come up as a single man and then get him to marry a woman in America who would help him to get a green card. He said that is not the case. But knowing this man, I am sure that I am right. He is even saying that we should send our first child to spend holidays with one of his sisters and let her stay up there and attend school. That is not something I can support.

This man is not listening to me at all. He is 10 years older than I am. I know this doesn't have to do with him having another woman in Jamaica. But I am afraid that I am going to lose this man if he goes away. At the moment, we have enough money to pay down on a house but he is not interested in doing so. All he wants to do is to leave Jamaica. He has a visa but I don't. If he goes, I will withdraw all the money from the account and I will pay down on a house because I cannot see why his people want him to leave me on my own while he is in America with them.

G.P.

Dear G.P.,

If this man wants to go to America, there is very little that you can do. Lots of relationships have broken up because relatives have encouraged men to leave their women and to join them abroad. Women who were doing very well in Jamaica have suddenly left their men, gone to America and that was the end of their relationship.

I hope that this man will think carefully about what he is doing. He should not walk away from you to start all over in America. Both of you have got along well but he might not get along so well with a new woman. But I will say to you, keep strong and whatever plans you may have, keep those plans to yourself. Both of you have an account. Don't rob him but don't rob yourself either.

Pastor