My sister is trying to steal my husband

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you about my Christian life. I am married to a man who claims that he is a Christian, but he is very sneaking. He cannot be satisfied with one woman. Everybody in the church likes him, and when I complain, the people in the church believe that I am the miserable one.

He is pathological. He borrows my money and doesn't pay me back. The most hurtful thing is that I found out that he likes one of my sisters. She is a half sister, but she is not married.

I found a text in his phone inviting her out. When I asked him about it he said he just wanted them to have drinks, but there was nothing to it. I had to report him to the elders. I also stopped my sister from visiting our house when I am not there. She has now turned against me, but I don't care. Why does he want her to come to our house when I am not there?

My sister left the church because I complained to one of the elders about her behaviour. My husband is threatening to leave too. These are two people who claim to be Christians.

My sister is very attractive. I know he would woo her into bed because he is that type of man. She once told me that she would take him away from me because I am too old for him. My sister got involved with a married man before. When she was finished with him just on a one-night-stand, the man left his wife. She is the one who told me what she did and why the man never went back to his wife.

I know some women plan for men, but when it comes from your own family, one has to be concerned. My sister told me I should know how to keep my man and stop calling her name. I am only seven years older than my husband and I have never cheated on him.

I know things that my sister has done, but I would not let them come out of my mouth because I am ashamed. Before I got married to this man, my sister and I engaged in a threesome with a guy and we planned never to talk about it. I could not say that to my husband because he would not have married me. Now my marriage is threatened because my husband feels that my sister is better than I am.

Help me to save my marriage.

This house is mine and I will not leave it and let my sister live here. She is a devil. I will expose her if she continues. I work too hard and my husband is only using the cloak of Christianity.

K.M.

Dear K.M.

Your husband needs to behave himself, and your sister, who is much younger than you, needs to realize that the past is the past. She should not try to ruin the lives of others. As sisters, both of you did things that you shouldn't be proud of. I am sure that you would like to change what you did, but it cannot be changed.

It is evident that your sister loves your husband and he would like to have an affair with her, if he has not started already. Why is it that he wants to go and have drinks with her? He is too friendly!

You were quite correct in telling your sister not to come back to your house when you are not there. Some of the things that you have mentioned I cannot print. Your sister is not a good woman, and your husband is not a good man.

If you know you are not guilty of doing anything that is wrong, since your husband and yourself have been married, keep serving the Lord. Your sister has left the church because she wants to have her own way. You may try to reach out to her from time to time, but stand your ground and let her know that you wish to be a person of principle.

If your husband wants to leave you, don't try to hold him back. Don't give him reasons to believe that unless you agree to his slackness both of you cannot have a good relationship. I hope he would agree to meet with you in counselling sessions with a psychologist or family counsellor.

Please, let me hear from you again.

Pastor