Haunted by my wild past

Dear Pastor,

I always read your column. I was introduced to it by some of my friends. I was in Florida the first time I saw the column and I became hooked by it. I have followed you ever since. You are forthright and a kind of no-nonsense person.

I grew up as a very promiscuous woman. I liked the night life. I went clubbing all the time with different guys. Some of them treated me well, and some not so well. But I learned to handle myself.

I have two children and I love them. They are not for the same father, but my ex-boyfriend accepted them as his own. These are beautiful girls. This man and I would probably still be together, but I messed up. He came home one evening and saw his friend sitting on my lap and they almost got into a fight. So that was the end of that relationship.

I am doing my own business and I am successful. My two girls have finished college but they are not married. The man I am living with is not interested in getting married. He said that we do not have to get married to be happy together. That might be true but I would love to get married. Working at home during the pandemic has helped me. I will never go back to an 8-5 job.

This man that I have in my life gives me total freedom. I can do what I want. I can go out and come in as I please. Our life is an open book to each other, but no one else.

We are friends with benefits. I can walk out whenever I please. This place is his place and I don't have to pay for anything. He has told me that the house will never be left for me, it is for his son and I understand that. But his son can never put me out.

I don't want my children to live the way I live. I have made bad mistakes. I tell my girls to respect men and to respect themselves. So far, they are doing well.

Pastor, you may not understand the type of relationship that I am in, but it is beautiful. So even if you don't understand, please don't condemn me. I will still read your column. I write you to get certain things off my mind.

Initials Withheld.

Dear Writer,

It is not everything that people write me about or say to me that I can publish. So I am not going to condemn you. But you seem to be enjoying the life you live. You talk about being in a relationship with benefits. I know what that means. You are in this house with this man, you can never inherit it, as you said, but you can live there as long as you want.

I hope your girls will indeed find men who will love and cherish them. Life is not just for living, as some people believe. A person will reap what he/she sows. Sometimes a person's past life will haunt him/her. I hope that whatever you do in life, you will have peace.

Pastor