I enjoy pleasuring myself

Dear Pastor,

I am 30 years old and I always read your column. I am married, but my husband and I are separated. I have one child. When I was growing up, and before I got married, it was my hope of having three children. However, my husband was very unfaithful; during the time I was pregnant, he was having an affair with another woman.

When I found out and asked him about it, he did not deny it. I asked him what was wrong with me and he said nothing. He said that the other woman was always willing to have sex with him. I was devastated because I always gave myself to my husband, whether it was night or day. I made time for this man. So when I realized that my husband was having an affair with this woman, I resisted him and that made it worse. He continued with the woman and impregnated her and she gave birth to twins.

I took my child to North America. Since I have been away, my husband has been begging me to forgive him. My father is a pastor and he told me that I should forgive my husband. I have made up my mind to divorce my husband, but I am not going to remarry.

I have been doing without a man for a long time now. There are those who say a woman cannot do without man; they are wrong. I enjoy pleasuring myself without a man. I don't have to be worried about getting any form of disease from myself. I know I sound out of order, but you are the type of counsellor anyone can speak freely to, and that is the reason why I am saying these things to you about myself.

Keep up the good work, sir.

B.N.

Dear B.N.,

I don't intend to try and convince you not to divorce your husband. He did not want to save the relationship. He did not care what he was doing, but now that you have left him, he has second thoughts. He looked back and has realized that he made a fool of himself.

I am sure your father did not like how your husband treated you, but he believes that there is always room for forgiveness. You have your life to live.

Has your husband changed? He may tell you that he has, and he may try to convince you to come back to him. However, it is a decision you alone will have to make. Take it easy, and may God bless you.

Pastor